Buck Up, Princess: As Time Goes By

Sunday, March 10, 2013

As Time Goes By

When referring to changes in the unemployment rate, members of the media often comment on how the number stated does not reflect those long term unemployed who have essentially given up looking for work. In the context of dating, perhaps if speaking on the number of single, gay men, they might refer to the number of middle-aged dudes who've given up on finding a romantic partner. An unpleasant concept, isn't it?

I know, I know, one is supposed to keep a positive attitude and be grateful for how things are. I often write about how much I enjoy aspects of aging and how much better is my life than it is have ever been before. I gets hard, though, to keep up a positive attitude about dating, at least I have been finding it so of late.

I am told I still possess a certain charm. Despite my surprise at others finding it so, I am told I am still an attractive man. But charming or attractive as I am told, facing another Friday night alone, hanging out at home with my crazy dog, wasting time watching bad TV, just doesn't sound appealing.

Whah, whah, whah, I know I sound like a Debbie Downer. And, as I've written before, being pitiful is never sexy. But, it is my blog, I get to write about what I want and how I feel. Dating has ups and it has downs. I try to remind myself that writing a blog on dating will reflect my experience, both positive and negative. It has just been so negative lately, it would seem whining about it wouldn't be appealing to my readers.

Okay, okay...deep breath, deep breath. Things will get better. Hard to believe at times, perhaps...but they will.

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

"As Time Goes By" performed by Billie "Lady Day" Holiday. Composed by Herman Hupfeld for the 1931 Broadway Musical "Everybody's Welcome" but more famously known for Dooley Wilsons' version in the 1942 movie "Casablanca".

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So, Just What is This Blog About?

I am an 'older' guy (early 50's) who prefers to date younger guys (mid-20's to early 40's or so). In the gay community (which is often all about 'labels'), this makes me a 'daddy'. Younger guys who like to date older guys are called 'lads' or 'hunters' or 'boys.' This is referred to as 'inter-generational dating'. This blog is devoted to my experiences with with aging and inter-generational dating, and my thoughts on that topic. It also features general rants about things I find irritating.

Hey, I am an old guy, we have strong opinions about stuff.

NOTE: AS THIS BLOG IS ABOUT DATING, IT THEREFORE INCLUDES SOME MATURE LANGUAGE AND REFERENCES TO SEX AND SEXUAL ACTS. EVERY ATTEMPT IS MADE TO KEEP EITHER ORIGINAL WRITINGS OR CONTENT LINKED FROM OTHER SITES AT THE 'PG' LEVEL. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY SUCH THINGS, I APOLOGIZE, AND RESPECTFULLY SUGGEST THAT THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU.

Okay, Before You Start Spewing the Hate....

The Dictionary of Gay Terms defines a daddy/boy relationship as the following:

1. Inter-generational relationships, a relationship where one person prefers a love partner much older than himself or herself, and the other person prefers a love partner much younger. for more information: Male Inter-generational Intimacy (1991) edited by Theo Sandfort, Ph.D.; Edward Brogersma, JD; and Alex van Naerssen, Ph.D.2.

So, when I use the term 'daddy' or I use the term 'boy', I am using those words in the context described above. Never, and I repeat, NEVER to refer to relations involving anybody who is not an adult. This isn't that kind of blog.

What is a Daddy?

A Daddy in gay culture is a slang term meaning a (typically) older man sexually involved in a relationship or having a sexual interest in a younger man. The age gap may differ, but the relationship involves the traditional parental hierarchy of father-son dynamics, the daddy providing emotional support and guidance along with sexual encouragement and nurturing to the inexperienced and vulnerable partner.

Often these relationships are categorized as either "DADDY and boi" or "DAD and son," although this is not absolute, and some relationships prefer no labels. Dad, or Daddy, are completely different from the similarly labeled sugar daddy, although this can sometimes lead to some confusion.

What is a boy?

Boi (plural: bois) is a term used within LGBT and butch and femme communities to refer to a person's sexual and/or gender identities.^[1]^[2] In lesbian communities, there is an increasing acceptance of variant gender expression, as well as allowing people to identify as a boi.^[3]^[4]^[5] The term may denote a number of possibilities that are not mutually exclusive:^[6]

A "boi" is (generally) the younger person who prefers older partners, and is the "boi" in a "daddy and boi" dating, relationship, or sexual situation, where "boy" and "boi", respectively, are used to differentiate between someone who is underage, and someone who just identifies as the younger who wants or needs someone older. In this context, "boi" can be masculine or effeminate, or anywhere along that spectrum, and some males identify as a "boi" well beyond their 20s, and especially so long as they are involved with older men. Often, though not always, a "boi" prefers the submissive role.

The term was also used as a variant of the spelling of boy when one could not register a username (particularly on AOL in the 90s when so many names were already registered) with the normal spelling boy as a part of the name. It was generally picked by younger gay males (commonly called twinks today).

Buck Up, Princess

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Sunday, March 10, 2013

As Time Goes By

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