There is a line from the movie, "Dazed and Confused" which goes something like, 'That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.'
I know that there are lots of old dudes who feel that way. The older they get, the younger it is they hope the romantic partners they find will be. I am not one of those guys. Sure, I date younger guys. And sure I think it is perfectly find to do so. But, there is young, and there is, "YOUNG."
As I've mentioned before, my last (and the happiest and most healthy) relationship was with a fellow two decades younger than am I. He was 24 when we met, I was 46. We met on a website designed to support inter-generational dating. He finds older, stocky, hairy dudes (like me) attractive and I find younger, taller, skinnier guys attractive. So it was a match made in heaven. But, I think we both knew this was a fluke. He wasn't originally intending to be in a serious relationship and I wasn't intending to try and have a serious relationship with someone that much younger. Despite the odds and despite criticism from our various peer groups, it worked.
With his departure for grad school across the country and the end of our relationship, having come away with such a positive experience, I figured it would be easy to find someone new, ideally someone a little older than he, more settled, a little more ready for a long term situation.
For good or for ill, for right or for wrong, that hasn't happened. What has happened, though, is I seem to be (as we say in the Navy), "Pogey Bait" for guys not Sam's age or older; rather Sam's age (at the time we met) or younger. Which I just find bizarre.
I mean, sure, it is nice when you are online and you get 'gropes' or 'winks' or whatever from guys you also think are cute (not so nice when it is guys you find grodie, but I digress). But what guy my age in his right mind wants to be chased after by kids barely out of high school? So, I don't really know how to respond when this happens. I know, I know, some of you oldsters are going to say but, 'what about Chris and Don,' or other such examples of extreme age differences where the relationship lasted. But really, that is pretty rare, admit it.
Okay, there is the rare really mature guy 20-year old college boy, or military guy with whom such a relationship is possible, but that is a one in a million shot. I recently met one such boy. A college student, who I thought (I can't remember why) to be 22 or 23, came over to my house to hang out. As we were chatting away, having a splendid time, it happened to slip out that he was only 19. Eek! I almost spit out my drink. As the chatting continued, much to my relief, he made it very clear that while he is really into 'older' guys, he is also mature enough to understand that he ISN'T mature enough for anything serious. Not looking for anything serious with someone that young myself, I was impressed with his maturity. He is clearly the sort of young man with whom an old dude might consider trying to have a relationship. But it was that very maturity that made it clear that no such relationship was being considered. I knew he was too young and he knew it too. Thank heavens! Now, in 5 years or so.....anyway.
So, what is it with all these other young guys, I mean YOUNG guys, who chase after me? Is it my chiseled, good looks? My Irish-Italian charm? Who the hell knows? And why is it some nice, attractive, 32 year old tall, skinny doctor with nice feet isn't chasing after me? Again, who the hell knows? This situation is crazy, don't you think?
At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
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