Is a Daddy/Lad Relationship the Same is a Master/Slave Relationship? Concept to Be Considered #5

Diary of a Leatherman

The everyday life of a Leather Sir, chronicling his journey in D/s Leather relationships and lifestyle.

Differences Between Boy and Slave

Saturday, April 10, 2010

My boy is my boy, he is not my slave.

For a lot of people in D/s relationships, the line between D/s and M/s can be very blurry. For others, it is so far apart it's ridiculous to think of them together.

I'm a terrible black and white thinker. I can't do it. I just... don't think in black and white, at all. Black is just very dark grey, and white is just very light grey. They're there, but they're on a spectrum. This is how I see most things in life, and D/s is no exception.

This post is not meant to explain all the differences between boys and slaves. As with everything in life (ah, here is my grey thinking) it all comes down to the people involved and how it works for them.

But for us? Definitely my boy, definitely not my slave. I am his Daddy, his mentor, his guide, his partner, but not his Master.

I think one of the key distinctions for us about this is that rather than control the boy's behaviour or life, I support him and encourage him to build his own. This doesn't mean that I don't tell him what to do a lot - on the contrary, he has a bed time and set gym times, and I can order him to do something at any time of day - but it does mean that I don't utilize that to its logical conclusion. I do not desire to do this for him, and I think even if I tried, he would resent it.

I do not tell my boy who he can socialize with or even when he can socialize. He is free to make his own connections with other people and to interact with them however he likes. Sometimes I will make suggestions, for example I have told him I would like him to attend the local submissive's munch when he can, but they are suggestions, not orders.

I encourage my boy to follow his heart and do what he loves. I do not seek to control that for him. I encourage him to work as he likes, play as he likes, see who he likes, experience life as he likes.

Were I to have a slave, this would not be the case.

In a slave I would expect to have rights over their life (within reason - some people's hard limits may involve things like "no removing me from my career" for example). I would have no qualms sending them to TAFE to learn skills that would be useful for me, modifying their bodies without asking (shaving heads, for example), or installing annoying protocols in their lives that I find arousing (not being allowed to use furniture, for example).

A part of me feels odd laying this out here on my blog for people to see, because the truth is that I'm a very flexible individual. I am open to most types of relationships with most types of people. I like that no two relationships are the same. I like being able to build a relationship from the inside, rather than going in with expectations.

But after a lot of self work in the last few months (well, last few years really!) I find myself in the position of actually seeking a slave. And it means that I have very clear ideas on where a slave differs from a boy - after all, I already have a boy.

What it does seem to come down to is the level of control and authority. While I have an enormous amount of control and authority over the boy, it is not total, nor would either of us wish it to be.

I do not seek to mould the boy into any particular type of person; rather, I seek to assist him in fulfilling his potential as who he is and who he desires to be.

That, dear readers, is a very important difference.

In a slave, I want near-total control and authority. But that doesn't mean I want a doormat, which I am finding means that I am having trouble finding suitable people. I want a slave who is stubborn and ambitious - the type of person who, while they do seek to be a slave, seeks to be the best possible slave they could be.

I'm looking for the elusive slave-minded person who thinks, "I won't settle for being locked in a cage all hours of the day, only used for sexual service. I can be so much more. I can be anything, I can be amazing. I can and will be the most impressive slave anyone has seen. People will compliment my Master on how incredible I am. Master will wonder how he ever did without me."

To be fair, I do actually already know someone who thinks like this - but he is one of my best friends, so that isn't going to work ;)

Posted by Erinkyan at 12:41 PM

CURSED, I TELL YOU, I AM CURSED....

Is it me?  Or do the rest of you run into the biggest bunch of losers and freaks when trying to meet qualify folks to date?  

More to just keep my hand in, as I don't want to appear to have given up completely, I semi-regularly post personal ads on a well known 'classifieds' site.  I don't really know why I bother.

Below is a series of emails which I received from one of my respondents.  The name of the respondent (and some other minor details) has been changes to protect the innocent, or in this case, is it the idiot?

To make it a bit easier to read, I'll post it in reverse order, so you can see the rather bizarre turn the discussion took.  I'll start with the ad itself, then show the whole (and I do mean the whole) exchange. Please note:  I also (as I do always) current pictures of myself (and, to be honest, a recent photo of me in uniform to better catch the eyes of a casual personals reader).

Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)

I miss having a nice, younger man to love. I seek a guy who is man enough to call me, 'Baby' in public, and yet boy enough to call me, 'Daddy' in private.
I am bearish, stocky, and have green/hazel colored eyes, and thick salt and pepper hair. I am charming; funny, intense; loud, and exasperating. Rumpled and crusty on the outside, I am told I am mushy and sweet on the inside; paternal, loving, and, protective. I enjoy listening to baseball on the radio; BBC America, AMC, and FX; and hanging out with my crazy dog. I love a good beer (I regularly special order a Portuguese beer) and a good steak. I dislike the taste and smell of onions and peppers. Supportive of the legalization of pot, I am personally not '420-friendly' as I can't stand the smell of it.
 
Physically I find skinny; younger (usually mid-20's to 40 or so) guys with big hearts, big smiles, and nice feet, attractive. Emotionally I prefer someone experienced with relationships; relationship-oriented, affectionate, and passionate. Socially I appreciate guys with interests both alike and dissimilar to my own; who are open-minded; and love dogs. Personality-wise, I find smart, funny, goofy, and easy-going guys most appealing. Sexually, the guys I date tend to be very bottom-inclined.
If you think you might find someone like me appealing, and you are someone who has the qualities I describe above, please send a note telling me about yourself and we'll see if we might 'click'.

 ____________________________________________________________________________

Date: Sunday, December 7, 2014, 2:15 PM
Subject: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To:TD

I enjoyed reading your ** Post, If you are a well-endowed total top daddy, I am more than interested in
meeting you.

Compatibility is based upon personal characteristics, just how candid my next response therefore
depends on yours.

Best,

M***
_____________________________________________________________________________

Date: Monday, December 8, 2014, 10:15AM

Subject: RE: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To:  M***

M***, thank you for responding to my posting. I appreciate it.

I am, however, a bit confused by your comments. If you are asking whether I am really a, "well-endowed total top daddy," that answer is most assuredly, 'yes.' That said, isn't, "well-endowed" in the eye (or in this case the mouth or the ass) of the beholder? I am told the girth of my member makes quite an impact. Having never fucked myself, I can't really say. I can say that I was with my last boy for nearly three years. Even at the end, he still sometimes struggled to take me. Does that mean I am big, perhaps. Was I big for him, certainly.

As to you comment, "compatibility is based upon personal characteristics..." That is certainly true. That said,
often it is the combination of characteristics or interests you share and which you develop together which makes a relationship a success. Additionally, you may have a myriad things in common, but if there is no physical attraction, there can be no passion. And, what is the difference between a romantic love and a friendship love? The passion and physical intimacy. If compatibility were the only important quality in a successful relationship, I'd have been married to a woman long ago, as tall chicks (with many of whom I get along famously, who would have loved to be married to me) dig me.

TD


________________________________________________________________________________________

Date: Monday, December 8, 2014, 1:46 PM
Subject: Re: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To: TD
 
 I like your mind TD, and no doubt you possess the girth any b*tch  would love to experience, but you still have  yet to tell me your size. 
 
Example: I am 6x4 cut.
 
Believe me I am far from being superficial but  I know my limitations  and at this point in
my life, all I desire and have time for is the truth.
Girth is more important to me than length but length is necessary in order to achieve a critical mass of penetration and reverberation in the mind of the beholder. My ultimate point is simply that when
I let someone f**k me, I need to feel like I am fully getting f**ked.
I literally need to feel afterwards like I was just "f**ked by a train", put in my place, unable to walk
and happy to know your my man!
 
If I felt that content everyday, I would bend over backwards for you, shower you with
kisses and do anything I can to make you happy!
 
Look at it this way TD, I am a total bottom and in order to remain a total bottom I literally need to get fucked everyday. My "a**hole" is then no longer an "a*hole", is has in reality become a
"p**sy".
 
My perception of that 'p**sy' can only be sustained via consistent exploitation, and thereby in
return my chosen identity as a f**king sissy remains intact for you to affirm and reinforce if you so
desire. The more often you choose to f**k my p**sy and or feed me cum, the more dedicated I will remain your very own "c**k loving p**sy".
 
Having said all the above, and no doubt your probably thinking the worst of me and saying
to yourself, "what else does this guy think of besides just sex?". Well rest assured baby, I can think of many other more mundane things to do and accomplish besides being a cock craving cum slut, but like I said TD, I know my limitations...

Very few men also appreciate all the time it takes for a bottom to prepare himself, to remain hygienic and always ready for his man.
 
When in a relationship, I always douche and shower several times everyday so I am
therefore ready for any potential, or spontaneous sexual opportunity that may arise and to
guarantee maximum anal and oral hygiene, penetration and pleasure. Can you appreciate it?
I possess many captivating talents both in and out of the bedroom.
I'm a highly trained ************ and ********* practitioner who specializes in treating and maintaining male sexual health integrity. I'm also a fabulous cook, an excellent housekeeper and organizer!
 
I have also held several houseboy positions in the past all of them were dependent upon my
sexual servitude, which was consensual and both mutually rewarding for everyone involved to say the least.
I do have a very fun, spontaneous and accommodating personality. I always gravitate to more dominate men who prefer exploiting my more submissive feminine nature behind closed doors and in bed.
Speaking of tall chicks, I'm also very tall TD, and very much 'chic'. And yes, both men and women also find me alluring and attractive. I do have very refined (androgynous like) facial features. I was once a highly paid fashion runway model briefly in my youth in California.
 
Men have always wanted to f**k me my entire life. I s**ked off my first cock when I was only 14 and got f**ked by a much older man when I was barely 16. Rest assured, that too was very consensual. I am 46yo now, 6'3" tall, 170 lbs I have a very slender twinkish body. I'm not bald, no bags under my eyes, very few wrinkles on my face. Brown hair and eyes, moderate light leg hair and very little arm hair. I have shaved balls, cock, chest, face and
short trimmed pubic hair.
 
I do live a predominately active healthy natural and organic lifestyle.
 
I'm not a vegetarian I love to pack lots of meat in both my holes. :o)
In closing for now TD, if your once again inspired to respond back, I hope you will send me some cock pics and please feel free to tell me more about what turns you on sexually and what you would like to do to me, or me to you in private if I was  your real time boyfriend.
Best,
M***
________________________________________________________________________________

Date: Monday, December 8, 2014, 5:00 PM
Subject: Re: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To: M***

M***, thank you for your thoughtful response to my message.

I too am at a stage in my life where I only have time for the truth. So here is the truth: I am, alas, at a loss as to how exactly to respond.

You say, '... but you still have yet to tell me your size.'

You also ask, 'I hope you will send me some cock pics and please feel free to tell me more about what
turns you on sexually and what you would like to do to me, or me to you in private if I was your real time boyfriend.'

At work, I am too busy to draft a very comprehensive response, but with more time to ponder, my response to these comments would most likely be along the lines of, 'You responded to my posting, so you have a sense of what I seek. You've seen pictures of me, so you know how it is I look. We've exchanged emails, so you have a sense of how I think . Now, you seek intimate pictures of me and want to know what I want to do with you in private. I am the one with his cards on the table. I seem to be doing all of the 'revealing' here. You've yet to even show me what you look like. It doesn't seem unreasonable that I see with whom it is I am communicating, especially if I am going to be sharing my most intimate desires and pictures of genitalia."

So, where does that leave us? I don't know. As I read your note, there are certainly areas in which we have complimentary interests. I am, therefore, intrigued. That said, this game of 'show me yours, but I won't show you mine' doesn't strike me as the most positive way to begin a dialog. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Date: Monday, December 8, 2014, 5:33 PM
Subject: Re: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To:TD

Why do I feel like I'm pulling teeth here TD? Your choice to post face pics was your choice, not mine. I would rather you had just posted body and cock pictures!

I never send out face pics online until I feel a real connection.Remember, this is also XXXXX, not Gay.com or Match.com. In closing, the picture I sent you along my hyper detailed stats and revealing bio is far and above the call of duty at this juncture more than sufficient evidence of my intention wouldn't you agree?

Most top men I know are more than willing to show what they got downstairs if they got something worth showing. The fact that you still now are unwilling to tell me your full cock size is not inspiring.

After all this time, I still do not know your weight or your cock size.  Why is it hard for you to understand what a bottom needs to know?

I can't get to second base without first knowing whats on first base!

You don't seem to me to be very intuitive Don, either that or maybe your too ashamed? I don't have time to figure it out, nor am I at this time inclined to spend anymore of my energy trying to inspire you...

Best,

M***

__________________________________________________________________________   
Now, I ask you. How in the hell do you respond to craziness like this?  And, what is even crazier, why do I feel compelled to do so?  This type of interaction has been my experience these last few years, since Sam and I broke up so that he could move back east for graduate school. Why do all the crazies gravitate towards me?

To be honest, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I actually think this crank responded to a profile or posting once before, only that time his name was, "A******.  To give him credit, if this is the same guy (the work description, age, basic physical description all match), at least that time he was willing to provide visual evidence of his appearance. Okay, I was weak, a bit lonely, and he seemed nice.  So, we arranged a date.  Alas, as has been the case with every dating experience I've had since Sam and I split, the date was a disaster from the get-go.  I got lost and was late.  His pictures were years out of date.  Our conversation was stilted and we had little or nothing in common.  It was the kind of date that makes you not want to go on dates any more.  

It wasn't quite as bad as the time I went on a date with a guy in his early twenties and half way through the meal, I noticed he didn't have any teeth.  When I asked about it, he said he'd been having public sex in a park and had gotten ambushed by some homophobes, who beat all of his teeth out.  Then he proceeded to tell me how involved he was with some very 'important' local celebrities, to whom he provided services (toothless, services) and how much they enjoyed being gummed.  The date with M*** or A****** (or whatever the hell is his real name, wasn't quite that bad, but it was pretty close.  

Anyway, back to the email exchange.  I am still at a loss to articulate how Kafka-esque has this exchange been.  

First, if it is the same guy, doesn't it seem weird that he didn't recognize me from the time we met?  Aside from having a short haircut now, I look exactly the same as I did then.  Okay, I admit, I also sport facial hair now (a chin strap), but it isn't like I've had plastic surgery or anything.  

Second, am I crazy, or do his responses appear the complete opposite of someone who claims to want to be 'submissive.' To me it sounds like he is a bossy bottom, who is only focused on his own needs.  Not very 'boyish,' now is it?

Third, no matter the venue, it is only common courtesy to share pictures with someone when responding to a personals advertisement. And, the one picture he did send, was off a tawny-skinned younger guy's ass, with the legs of a pale-skinned guys legs wrapped around it.  Clearly the picture was a screen shot from some porn movie.

Fourth, for someone who tries to make himself sound as if he isn't superficial, isn't it odd that his whole focus is on the size of my cock? I mean, I agree, if you are a total bottom, you want a guy with a decent cock that works.  But, riding the guy's cock only takes up so much time during the day.

Fifth, I may be embarrassed about many things.  My d**k isn't one of them.  It may not work quite as well as it did back in the day, but it still gets the job done.  Heck, I just used it last night to deflower a young (mid-twenties), military member, who wanted to have his first man-to-man experience before deploying.  Nice boy, beautiful body, sweet nature, built like a Viking...yowzers.  Anyway, I am only vain about 3 things:  I have beautiful, hazel eyes.  I still have good hair (for an old dude), which looks great with all the gray in it.  My d**k is pretty amazing.  Thick, uncut, curved for maximum prostate massage for the bottom, I've never had any complaints.  

You know, my friends, my fuckbuddies, my therapist, all keep telling me what a great guy am I and how I just need to put myself out there.  I think I do a pretty good of doing that...I am active on websites and apps which cater to dating and/or hooking up.  I post personal ads.  Heck, I even write this blog, telling the world that I am single and lonely and that I worry I may never have another relationship.  I've gotta tell ya, this experience is par for the course.  I've literally been on only a handful of dates since Sam left 3 years ago.  I've only had one overnight guest.  Okay, I have fuckbuddies, so it isn't like I have blueballs, but still.  It is hard not to think the problem must lie with me, when I see other guys, even other old, fat, hairy dudes finding love.  I used to tell Sam that when our relationship ended, I expected the romantic part of my life to end.  It sure looks like I was right.

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

Is a Daddy/Lad Relationship the Same is a Master/Slave Relationship? Concept to Be Considered #1

THIS DADDY COMMENT:  To me, one of the major differences between Daddy/lad and Master/slave relationships is the perceived connection between such practices and their inclusion in what are counted as 'leather' play.  Daddy/lad relationships are as old as time.  To me they are as natural and should be as healthy and fulfilling as any romantic relationship.  While there is a 'play' component, the scope of the relationship is broader and more organic and is what comes most naturally to guys who seek out relationships of this nature.

Exploring Leather Relationships

Part 3 of 3: “Sirs” and “Boys”

Lifestyle by David Stewart (From GayCalgary® Magazine, March 2010, page 36) 

 In the past two months, we have taken a look at Master/slave and Daddy/boy relationships in an effort to explore leather culture and possibly clear up common misconceptions. To review, Master/slave relationships are all about the service and comfort of the Master, while Daddy/boy relationships are all about the guidance of the boy. On the spectrum of dominance versus submission, Master/slave relationships occupy one end and Daddy/boy relationships the other. While Master/slave dynamic focuses on one participant and Daddy/boy focuses on the other, the Sir/boy dynamic is a combination of the two, and can move freely along the spectrum as the situation calls.

It has been argued in the past that the Sir/boy dynamic is simply a catch-all term for a dynamic of dominance and submission between two men. While there are definitely men who use it as such, in the context of many Sir/boy relationships there are specific attitudes that set a Sir and boy apart from the Dom and sub. These traits are not universal, but they provide the basis for how the Sir/boy dynamic is implemented in the participants’ lives, which is what puts this dynamic above and beyond that of a generic dominance/submission.

The differences between the boy and a submissive arise from intent. A leather boy’s mentality is still one of submission, and he rarely enters leather culture thinking with more than the head between his legs. That said, under the guidance of a leather Sir, the boy begins to observe his Sir and other experienced leathermen as something to aspire toward. As this happens, the boy adopts an attitude of self-reflection, which inevitably leads to self-improvement. The Sir’s role in all of this is that of a steady hand, guiding the boy in the right direction. Reflection and improvement can come about in many ways, so Sir adapts to each situation uniquely. He may provide the boy with learning experiences or he may only offer the boy with guidance when needed.

However, it is atypical for a Sir to take on a boy for any extended period of time if the boy isn’t ready for the depth of this relationship style. For a boy to start his journey, he needs to be a man first. Boys are a reflection of their Sir, so it’s not right for a leatherman to take on a boy who is without a job, a car, a place to live, etc. To put it bluntly, the boy can’t be a loser.

When a boy starts his journey under the direction of his Sir, the Sir passes down the attitudes that he has learned since his own journey started. A boy who is new to leather culture earns his own leather as he demonstrates his learning, and the bond between Sir and boy grows. There are no concrete ways to go about earning leather, nor is there a definitive set of leather that needs to be earned; it is unique to the individual. In my case, my boots, belt, vest, and jacket were presented as earned leather, and each of those items have their own set of experiences behind them. Regardless of how this tradition is integrated into a relationship, earned pieces of leather represent learning and experience.

As the boy learns and grows further, he takes on more attitudes that are indicative of a leatherman. Self-reflection and self-improvement are omnipresent, but over time the Sir passes on additional qualities that will ultimately aid the boy in transitioning to a Sir (or Daddy, or Master) someday, at which time he will be ready to take on a boy of his own. Namely, these qualities are as follows:

Leadership: This may be fairly intuitive, since any dominant top is charged with the task of leading his bottom in one way or another. However, a leather Sir is expected to be a personification of the traits of a good leader: charismatic, authentic, ethical, mindful, etc. A leatherman should be capable of leading his community when called to task, and the quality of his leadership ultimately affects the quality of his community.

Balance: This attitude manifests in many forms. Sadism is balanced with compassion, confidence is balanced with humility, dominance is balanced with understanding. A solid leather Sir also balances his time in and out of his leathers, growing in the vanilla world and as a sexual renegade.

Honor: The term has been used so much in writing and in speech at leather contests that its original meaning is sometimes lost. Leather honor is a concept that best describes the value system of a leatherman. Integrity, accountability, and brotherhood are some of the ‘buzzwords’ that are used to describe this concept, but language can’t really do it justice. This is an attribute of leathermen that is best observed, rather than described.

Experience: Above all else, experience is valued in leather culture. It is through experience that personal growth manifests, and with the state of gay culture in the past 30 years—after AIDS killed off a huge part of our population—experience is even more important. Experience is what drives the learning process in leather, and the importance of experience extends to the way that leathermen play, as well. Many BDSM organizations provide how-to workshops, which results in a mechanical style of play that hampers creativity. On the other hand, learning the same techniques through experience creates a positive memory behind them, and results in creative play that surpasses the “insert hand A into restraint B” level of play.

Of course, not all boys “grow up” to become tops. Plenty of boys are quite happy fulfilling the bottom role of a relationship, but they are not exempt from these growing experiences or from passing on their knowledge to others. The dynamic between them and their top may eventually evolve into roles where teaching and learning are not a focal point of the relationship, but as previously mentioned, the dynamics of the Sir/boy relationship can shift freely as the situation calls.

This dynamic may seem very much like the Daddy/boy dynamic, however, the difference lies in the intensity. Typically, the Sir/boy dynamic requires the boy to be much more disciplined and focused than the Daddy/boy or even Master/slave dynamic. Daddy/boy and Master/slave dynamics allow for short term idle play, but the Sir/boy dynamic is really all about a long term goal. When observed from an anthropological perspective, it is simply cultural propagation.

There aren’t readily available resources that address the Sir/boy dynamic independent from the Daddy/boy dynamic (so we’re breaking new ground here!), but the best way to learn about this dynamic is to observe it and interact with leathermen. That said, I’m going to be expanding on the topics discussed in this article at the upcoming Alberta Weekend of Leather.

How Do I Reach These Kids?

I found this article online today.  I couldn't agree with it more, so I figured I should share.

Free Your Mind Your Crotch Will Follow
Posted: 07/02/2014 10:56 am EDT Updated: 07/02/2014 11:59 am EDT
Mike Alvear
Follow Mike Alvear on Twitter: www.twitter.com/woodymillertime

When was the last time you heard someone make fun of a top? Never. But bottoms? Wow. How many times have you heard friends say things like, "Oh, he's just a big bottom." Or heard jokes like, "Why did the gay man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a top."

Can you imagine somebody saying, "There's nothing but tops in this town?" Exactly. You can't. The most exalted thing you can say about a gay man, the biggest compliment you can pay him, is to call him a "top." And the worst thing you can say about him, the best way to put him down, is to call him a "bottom." Why? Because a lot of people buy into the idea that...

Bottoming Makes You A Woman.

This is the single biggest emotional stumbling block gay men have about bottoming -- being labeled less than a man. For many of us, bottoming isn't an opportunity to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience but an act that threatens our sense of masculinity and the respect that goes with it. Many gay men believe that if they bottom they will become "a bottom." They fear that bottoming will create a new unwanted identity for them; that they'll become, ahem, the butt of everyone's jokes.

It just may be that you haven't been able to bottom (or been able to enjoy it) because you have so many emotional issues around the act. If you can get away from the falsehood of bottoming as an identity and see it for what it is -- an erotic activity -- the more relaxed and receptive you will be. Books like How To Bottom Like A Porn Star or Anal Health & Pleasure can show you just how relaxed and receptive you can get.

It might be helpful to understand how so many of us came to associate bottoming with effeminacy. The answer can be found in one of the most important gay books you'll ever read -- historian Byrne Fone's, Homophobia: A History. He makes well-documented assertions that sex between men in Ancient Greece was "normal" and idealized, but that there were strict rules regarding its conduct. There were Homo Do's and Homo Don'ts. And the biggest Don't was to enjoy penetration.

Being the penetrator was synonymous with being a man. Anything that subverted the concept of masculinity was punished with social ostracism and ridicule. And nothing mocked masculinity more than getting penetrated.

Greeks and Romans didn't really care whom you had sex with (women, men, boys, slaves) as long as you were the penetrator. The Romans even had a word for it: Vir. It was an exalted term, symbolizing the ideal man: He who penetrates other men but is himself not penetrated.

Today we still live out those vestiges of antiquity. We label men "tops" or "bottoms" in part because we're living out antiquity's fear of the feminine. In heterosexual thinking, the penetrator (man) is more valuable than the penetrated (women). We've adapted that consciousness in our own community, where the penetrator (top) is more valuable than the penetrated (bottom).

Clearly, labels like "top" and "bottom" can be useful shorthand for sexual likes and dislikes. But instead of stating what we prefer -- "I like to bottom" -- we turned that preference into an identity -- "I'm a bottom."

By developing identities out of these labels we cut ourselves off of any unlabeled possibilities. In our world, tops can only date or hook up with bottoms and bottoms can only do the same with tops. That's a whole lot of blindness in a sighted community.

So how do you get past the emotional blocks that stop you from blossoming into a full sexual being? Step-by-step directions on the physical aspects of gay sex -- like clever tips for relaxing so it doesn't hurt -- are important but secondary to the tyranny of misplaced beliefs and corrosive thoughts. It's more important to free your mind because your butt will follow.

Check out the author's latest book on gay sex, How To Bottom Like A Porn Star.

As an avowed, 'Penetrator,' I've never understood why bottoms get so little respect.  I mean, if there weren't bottoms, just who would we 'Penetrators' penetrate? This about it, the next time you hear someone be dismissive of the bottoms in our lives.

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

For the Daddies in the Crowd....

As even the most casual of my readers knows, I believe that to be a Daddy means to be a Top.  There is no such thing as a bottom Daddy.  Thank God for bottoms, don't get me wrong, I love 'em.  But, in the younger/older relationship, in the bedroom at least, there is a natural dominance and submission balance which makes it natural and right that Daddy be the Top.

Does that mean that the Daddy can be lazy?  No.  Does it mean it isn't his job to make sure his lad is satisfied?  No.  You readers also know that I detest the behavior in our culture when tends to downplay the value of bottoms.  I mean, come on...without high quality bottoms, just what would Tops do, beat off?

So, I was very pleased to stumble across the article which appeared on GayGuys.com below today.

How To Be A Better Top – From A Bottom’s Perspective 

 Published By: Blake Michaels | April 29, 2014 

As a power bottom, it never ceases to amaze me how many tops fail to please. When you aim to make us happy, we’ll return the favor times a million. Two men trying to please each other equally are in for a whole lot of pleasure and before you know it, the sweat is dripping down our faces and we’re up to round three of an already long night.

You might think you’re awesome at sex, but most of you tops are in desperate need of some tips. Bottoms don’t want to be treated like blow up dolls, at least for the most part. We have bodies too which means we feel pain. Just because we like to get penetrated does not mean we want to be turned inside out. But don’t worry. I’m here to let you know what most bottoms fail to tell you because unlike the others, I’ve taken mental notes honey. I ain’t afraid to use them. Here are a few things I’ve picked up. They’re simple, yet make all the difference:

• You Need To Shower Too

Just because you might not be getting penetrated doesn’t mean you are free from maintenance. If you have any form of pubic hair, you better make sure you jump in the shower and scrub yourself before any mouth or butt makes their way down there. Trust me, it’s better to smell like vanilla than dried up sweat. Use soap and water on the butt, penis, balls, and every place else you’re exposing.

• Pay Attention 

Even before foreplay begins, open up your senses. See how his mood is in that particular moment. You don’t want to appear too aggressive at the beginning, but you also don’t want to seem too sensitive either. Welcome your touch and caress effortlessly, not forcefully. If you make him uncomfortable at the beginning, you’re setting the foundation for how the sex will be.

• Appreciate His Body

A bottom wants to know that you respect and appreciate his body. We’re on the bottom side of things, you know. We can get a bit insecure if our belly fat starts jiggling or you grab onto our love handles or choke us in an effort to hide our double chin. The minute you seem disgusted or unimpressed we tend to close up. For the best of both our experiences, you better think I’m the hottest guy you’ve ever had on top of you. Otherwise we’re in for an awkward night.

• Investigate His Zones 

I’ve always believed the tongue has magic powers when combined with hot breath. Exhale normally (not like your trying to fog up a window) on the outer layer of his skin. Start on the neck and work your way down to the nipples and stomach, especially the “sex bone” area. Notice which areas he shivers most and you can get a good sense of what he likes. Then, you can start implementing your fingers. But be careful – fingernails hurt.

• Don’t Go Full Throttle At The Beginning 

Going from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds is never a good idea. Stop and think before you shove your d**k inside. Give him a chance to warm up to you. The best idea is to let him take control during this time. Let him find the passage way that’s most comfortable. We’re all shaped differently, you know. Chances are, he’s not going to like what your ex-boyfriend liked. Starting slow and sensual is always a safe bet. From there, work your way up to the finish line.

• Know How It Feels For Them 

The greatest top is someone who’s done it before and knows how it feels. Empathy creates a much better experience, especially if you’re packing a big weapon. Trusting that your top is considering your feelings allows a bottom to fully give in. So in reality, it’s a win win for both of you. Don’t be selfish.

• Sensualness Is Key 

You don’t need to be in love to be sensual, though it does help. Making a connection is crucial before penetration because not only does it open a window of trust, but it conjures an incredible amount of rhythm. Your bodies become music, fitting inside each other’s tempo and cadence the more sensual you become. Don’t overestimate it, even if it’s just about the sex.

• Rid Yourself Of The Jackhammer 

In case you didn’t figure out, anal sex can hurt like a mother f**ker. Unless your bottom is totally cool with it, stop humping him like a jack rabbit and most importantly, never pull it fully out and fully in at a fast pace. It might look good in porn films, but in reality it’s pretty effing painful. Naturally this is all up to the bottom’s pain tolerance, but it’s best to see where it all goes.

• Take Control & Change Positions 

It’s cool to be vanilla at times, but it shouldn’t over take the whole experience. I’m not talking about bondage or leather, but simply changing up the positions. Even the most aggressive of power bottoms like to be controlled by a top who knows what he’s doing. Never make it planned or rehearsed, but allow it to be a natural progression from whatever position you changed from. Be the coach and I’ll be the student.

• Make Sure He Gets Off

Don’t be a blow and go type of guy. The bottom is the one getting penetrated which already gives him more points than you, so the least you can do is get him off. Don’t roll over and go to bed even if he proclaims that it’s “okay” or he’s “fine and just enjoys pleasing you.” Trust me, he’s lying. We all want to get off. Don’t be an a**hole.

Okay, the whole power bottom thing leaves me cold, I mean, if you are going to be a power bottom, why not be a top?  That said, I am often quoted as say, "I may want to f*ck you like a b*tch.  But if I don't cherish and respect the opportunity you are allowing me to do so, I don't deserve to be putting my dick inside of you!"

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

A Boy’s Guide to Pleasing his Daddy. Chapter 7

The following is part of a series of, "Lessons from Daddy," posted on TUMBLR by, 'Ultra Boyhunter'

THIS DADDY has no idea if this or any of the other writings are original and claims no ownership of anything written in this series. THIS DADDY doesn't agree with some of the terminology used (the term, Son, for example) and the content does not necessarily  represent the views of THIS DADDY or, 'Buck Up, Princess.'  

The content, as posted on the Ultra Boyhunter blog, contains videos and images which are not appropriate for readers under 18 (21 in AL, MS, NE, WY, and any other location where 18 is not the age of majority).  Those videos and images are not included on, "Buck Up, Princess" and it is recommended that anybody not of legal age not visit the Ultra Boyhunter blog itself.

For those of an appropriate age, these pieces are interesting, providing insight into a certain form of intergenerational relationship. Some of the 'helpful hints' may be useful for Dads/lads and Tops/bottoms.

A Boy’s Guide to Pleasing his Daddy. Chapter 7, The Big Finish
Posted on Tumblr by Ultra Boyhunter on December 27, 2013

Here we cum at last to the end of these basic lessons. What better way to wrap things up than some activities to do with the results of your hard work. That’s right boys, how to play with cum and to enjoy just how messy you get from good sex. Ultimately, good sex should not be a dry experience, you should get sticky, sweaty and have a great time doing it. So why stop after you’ve gotten that load out of Daddy?  Here are some basic things you can do to have fun with cum.

The Facial Cream:
Did you know that for many years, a secret to good skin was the proteins found in semen? Don’t be afraid to get it on your skin, it can help with acne, scarring and lines. Seriously, its probably the best thing out there for your face, and thanks to Daddy you have some on tap. This doesn’t mean you should wallow in it unless he likes that. What it means is if he wipes off your lips, embrace that an enjoy the facials he gives you (they really are called that for a reason). If he doesn’t mind, scoop some and dab it where you have something you want to help fix and let dry. Remembering of course to listen to Daddy. He may even appreciate how much you enjoy playing in the cum. Give it a try the next time you get a load in the face.

The Body Shot:
When Daddy pulls out to shoot on your chest, don’t be afraid to use some to lubricate your own cock, or just smear it around to cover yourself in the sticky goo. It’s a sign of his affection and love, don’t waste it if he wants you to scoop it and eat it. Get it while its hot!

The Back Door Ringer:
This one is an internal shot, and should be kept where Daddy left it by closing your ring and holding on to it tightly. If he tells you to let it run out, relax and push out gently allowing it to flow out.The feeling can be quite nice having Daddy’s load sloshing around inside your hole, so enjoy it and let him know how much you appreciate it. It’s usually a good time to ask ‘was i a good boy daddy’ at times like this.

The Back Wash:
This one is when you are laying down, and Daddy pulls out to cover your back. Arch your back to help it flow downward towards Daddy and ask him to spread it around on your bottom. Yes, some Daddy’s really do love a  ‘dirty boy’ especially one that isn’t afraid to ask for something like this. You may even ask him to scoop some up to feed you from his fingers. Pretty simple no? The point of these lessons is to loosen inhibitions, encourage closeness and the freedom to play as dirty as you like. At the end here with the big finish is the perfect time to show that off a little.

Addendum:  There are a few things to point out toward the end here. Since we live in this age, the assumption in this work is that you practice safe sex at all times, unless in a committed relationship where both of you are tested and safe together. Even so, the big finish works with the body shot and back wash tricks. Always play safe, check in, and remember: Enjoy the sex you have with your Daddy. Make sure he knows how much you enjoy yourself and do NOT be afraid to experiment with him and try new things. The worst that happens is you ditch a trick, the best is you’ve learned something that really turns him on and keep it in your tool boys of tricks. Now, go be a good boy and show Daddy what you learned.

A Boy's Guide to Pleasing Daddy: Chapter 6, Part 2: Getting your Groove on

The following is part of a series of, "Lessons from Daddy," posted on TUMBLR by, 'Ultra Boyhunter'

THIS DADDY has no idea if this or any of the other writings are original and claims no ownership of anything written in this series. THIS DADDY doesn't agree with some of the terminology used (the term, Son, for example) and the content does not necessarily  represent the views of THIS DADDY or, 'Buck Up, Princess.'  

The content, as posted on the Ultra Boyhunter blog, contains videos and images which are not appropriate for readers under 18 (21 in AL, MS, NE, WY, and any other location where 18 is not the age of majority).  Those videos and images are not included on, "Buck Up, Princess" and it is recommended that anybody not of legal age not visit the Ultra Boyhunter blog itself.

For those of an appropriate age, these pieces are interesting, providing insight into a certain form of intergenerational relationship. Some of the 'helpful hints' may be useful for Dads/lads and Tops/bottoms.

A Boy's Guide to Pleasing Daddy: Chapter 6, Part 2: Getting your Groove on
Posted on Tumblr by Ultra Boyhunter on December 27, 2013

Now to move on to more specific techniques using just your bottom, as well as some basic position elements to maximize your pleasure as well as your partners as well as how and where to use your hands. These techniques are largely yours, as the son, to use to please Daddy. The techniques for Daddy are different, or they might seem silly or confusing when done by him, so remember boys these hints are for you. The first rule is always check in and ask what each other prefers, some Daddy’s like their boy to be passive most of the time, others prefer their boys to be more active when it comes to getting fucked, and still others prefer to vary it from time to time, so be ready to adapt as needed.

A good rule is this: A Great Bottom never just lays there. A great bottom knows how to move, even internally, to increase the pleasure they are sharing with Daddy.

The Tempting Tease.
This is away to ‘hint’ that you want Daddy inside you. It is a foreplay element, but can be done at any point as a nice tease for Daddy. This is often seen in porn, when they are on all fours, reach back and spread their cheeks a little and either wiggle their butt back and forth a little or contract and relax their ring so it ‘winks’ at Daddy. This isn’t something to do ALL the time, but can be a nice tempting treat for Daddy to watch. It can, and does, often lead to fingering/rimming before any penetration occurs. Sometimes however, depending on preferences for sex, might lead directly to penetration, so be careful when and how you use it. It’s simple but very effective in attracting attention (unless Daddy teases you back and doesn’t pay attention to it).

The Ring Toss:
This technique involves either being on all fours or positioned over your Daddy’s cock. This is a gentle, slow insertion until you have the head inside your ring. If you’ve read the previous instructions regarding muscle controls, you will then tighten your sphincter around the head and being a circular rotation, riding it halfway out then back in to that top depth. This is a definite tease technique with a promise of much more. By controlling your muscles, the penetration depth and how you move, you demonstrate your ability and desire to please your Daddy as much as possible. This position can be tiring after a while so rather than a constant pressure, alternate relaxing around the head and tightening it at different points in your rotations. This is not, repeat not a light fucking motion, it is a circular rotation around the head with a slight up and down motion that happens naturally because of the motion you are using. When all fours, this position offers the same control, but requires you rotate your hips a little more to control the penetration and rotation.

The Downward spiral thrust:

This technique involves more of Daddy’s cock than the previous, and you can use this one to get most if not all of it in fairly easily. By continuing the rotation of the previous action, you being slowly pushing back (or down depending on position) and take more and more slowly as you rotate. This increases your own stimulation and his. You may wish (if doggy style) to reach back and spread your cheeks slightly to increase the tightness of the ring, but as you approach the bottom of the shaft, let go and allow yourself to slowly go down further until you are flush against him continuing to grind gentle there, working his shaft inside you by tightening and relaxing your pelvic wall.

The Percussive thrust.
Once you have relaxed and gotten used to having all of Daddy in you, you may begin going back up to the top slowly while tensing and relaxing your muscles as you go. Once you reach the top the trip back down should be faster, and a little harder as this goes on longer. Initially, go slowly back down and massage Daddy inside you. Ask him if he wants you to go faster or harder and do as he asks. He may at any time take control, so be ready to adapt as always. If he says continue, begin moving harder against him, and if he is a ball slapping Daddy, eventually you will be slamming yourself back onto him with a percussive SMACK on each downward impact. The withdrawal to the top should remain slower,  as this lets you both feel the journey out and gives you time to work your magic as a bottom. You may at any time choose to rotate again after giving yourself and Daddy a break, but my advice is only rotate on the slow upward movement.

The Cowboy/Reverse Cowboy:
This is done while on top of Daddy, fully inserted either facing him or away from him (hence reverse cowboy). The name not only comes from the fact you are ‘riding the bull by the horn’ but also because of what you are meant to do while on top. Keep your back straight up in Cowboy position facing daddy and roll your hips from left to right while grinding back and forth occasionally. This is a deep stroke as well as one involving a ‘bucking bronco’ movement where you rise up slightly, and slide back down quickly. Alternate which you do, keep it moving and keep your energy up. This is a workout and should also be fun. Check in when trying different things until you have a feel for what pleases Daddy most.

The Rocket Ship:
This position required your Daddy to be sitting up, and you seated facing away from him. Here you will have his arms around your chest/stomach/hips like the belt in a rocket ship and you will be kneeling in front of him, his cock inserted full at first. You will then being rising and falling slowly getting faster and faster as you feel Daddy’s tension building. At anytime feel free to toss in contractions and rotations from previous techniques. It can’t hurt to try unless you are rough about it. The opposite requires different actions on your part to make work and usually Daddy has to take control then to keep you in place and provide most of the action while you balance so we will skip that variation for now.

Remember: There are standing variations on all of these strokes as well, so you can try them in different positions too. The Cowboy works wonders when Daddy is sitting in a chair because you can brace yourself.

This covers the most basic tricks for boys to use to please Daddy. From here on out, experiment, check in and most of all: play and have fun!

A Boy’s Guide to Pleasing His Daddy: Volume 6, Part 1

The following is part of a series of, "Lessons from Daddy," posted on TUMBLR by, 'Ultra Boyhunter'

THIS DADDY has no idea if this or any of the other writings are original and claims no ownership of anything written in this series. THIS DADDY doesn't agree with some of the terminology used (the term, Son, for example) and the content does not necessarily  represent the views of THIS DADDY or, 'Buck Up, Princess.'  

The content, as posted on the Ultra Boyhunter blog, contains videos and images which are not appropriate for readers under 18 (21 in AL, MS, NE, WY, and any other location where 18 is not the age of majority).  Those videos and images are not included on, "Buck Up, Princess" and it is recommended that anybody not of legal age not visit the Ultra Boyhunter blog itself.

For those of an appropriate age, these pieces are interesting, providing insight into a certain form of intergenerational relationship. Some of the 'helpful hints' may be useful for Dads/lads and Tops/bottoms.

A Boy’s Guide to Pleasing His Daddy: Volume 6, Part 1: Using your Bottom to please Daddy
Posted on Tumblr by Ultra Boyhunter on December 27, 2013

Part 1: Getting ready to play.
Anal Sex.

Butt lovin, tube shovin, shaft stroking backdoor sex. There are no doubt many questions that should be addressed when talking about the ‘bottom’ of the sex list. There are some major issues already addressed in previous lessons (like cleanliness etc) but there are a few to bring up here that stand out at this point. The issues of Shaved/Unshaved, of virginity/inexperience and of being ‘too tight’. These issues are frequent questions, and deserve to be addressed separately before we get to the actual tips and tricks.

Shaved Vs Unshaven: This is one question of personal taste, not only for the son but for his Daddy too. There are many reasons why either one could be preferred, but there are some things to consider when shaving your butt. First of which, the best way to go about it is to have help. It’s not only an intimate trusting moment, but can be very arousing for both people involved. That said, shaved provides no protection there (its normally hairy for a reason) and the hair can cushion impact and keep you a bit warmer there. Shaved has the downside of it grows back and those stubble phases are usually not only painful for you but also your Daddy, so you have to either keep up with it or give up having that kind of sex  for a while as it grows back in. A shaved boy can be nice because its slick and slippery, but an unshaven one provides almost the exact same sensation and none of the downtime of regrowing stubble. It is easier to rim a shaven bottom, but only to a certain degree. Some of us prefer the feeling of chewing a fuzzy butt to a smooth one, others the reverse. So it comes down to you and your Daddy deciding what is best for you. Either way requires cleanliness and maintenance in one form or another so it does ultimately come down to personal taste.

Virginity/Inexperience:  The ‘V’ card. So mystified and sanctified that it becomes a crucial part of a boys psyche. Lets take a moment to break this down into clear and concise terms. Virginity is a concept that really originated when a girls virginity was the only value she had, because without it she could not be bartered for property to a neighbor or enemy to form an alliance. Being ‘the first’ is an antiquated concept at best, vulgar at the worst. If the only value someone has for you is being their first partner, then you may have other issues to deal with. If you believe, as a boy, that your virginity is the only thing you have of value to offer a partner, then you are dead wrong. Your first time cannot be lost by being raped or molested. The first time you have sex with someone of your choosing it truly is your first time, and not any other occasion. The very first time you and your Daddy make love will always be special, and often change how you feel about sex. Take the stigma out of virginity, because it simply means your Daddy has a whole lot he can teach you, not the least of which is that you are valuable without it as well as with it. Human value should never be assessed based on  a ‘status’ like Virginity because it can be ‘lost’ without meaning to, just ask a girl. Virginity for them involves a membrane that can break from riding a horse, bouncing in a car too hard, getting hit in the groin, and without it their value is diminished, and in some cultures utterly removed because her ‘character’ can be questioned because of its absence. Boys being judged by the same measures as girls is absurd, let alone being emotionally and psychologically traumatized by the change of status from virgin to not. We, as a species, need to get over this and learn to disregard rules that do not apply, like virginity, especially when it comes to gay boys. Your inexperience, as said before, is not a detriment if you allow your Daddy to show you how and are patient and determined in your ‘lessons’ from him.

Too Tight to F*ck: Well, this one is tricky. I’ve known many who were very tight but with application of the previous lessons, should have no trouble relaxing and being able to accept what is happening back there. There may also be certain psychological concerns when dealing with being ‘too tight’ because you may be resisting it because you expect too much pain or are attempting to prevent the very thing you are wanting to happen. This can be resolved however with relaxation, massage, breathing, meditation, and a little practice. If its easy for you, a single finger (pinkie to start) and just sit there for a while. Breathe slowly, relax then being moving the finger in small circles. If that is not possible, then purchase a very small thing masturbatory tool like a butt plug or a dildo. Do NOT force these things in, relax, start small and work your way up once you are comfortable using them. Slowly increase the diameter and length until you are at least working something the size of two to three fingers put together and the length of 5-6 inches. That should be enough to help prepare yourself for anything that size or slightly bigger.

The Basics:
From previous anatomy lessons you and your Daddy should know where different parts are, so rather than covering them again, I will assume you did your homework and learned where they were. Cheeks, Rim/Ring and prostate are the three big ones for your pleasure as a bottom, but also for pleasing your Daddy. I will cover some exercises  you can do (two simple ones have huge effects on various parts of your soft muscle groups that control erection and tightness, and can amplify pleasure) and a few basic considerations before attempting anal sex.

First Up: Pelvic Floor Muscle Training.  (source http://www.everybody.co.nz )

How do I know what muscles to tighten?

The first step is to correctly identify the muscles. Sit comfortably - your thighs, buttocks and tummy muscles should be relaxed. Lift and squeeze inside as if you are trying to hold back urine, or wind from the back passage.

    If you are unable to feel a definite squeeze and lift action of your pelvic floor, don’t worry. Even people with very weak muscles can be taught these exercises.

    If you feel unsure whether you have identified the correct muscles, try to stop your flow when passing urine, then restart it. Only do this to identify the correct muscles to use - this is a test, NOT an exercise.

    If you are unable to feel a definite tighten and lift action in your pelvic floor muscles you should seek professional advice.

How do I start pelvic floor muscle training program?

At first you may need to perform these exercises while sitting. As the muscles strengthen you can progress to exercise standing up. Like any activity, start with what you can achieve and progress from there. Remember to use your muscles whenever you exert yourself during your daily activities.

If you can feel the muscles working, exercise them by:

1. Squeezing/ tightening and drawing in and up around both your anus (back passage) and urethra (bladder outlet). Lift up inside and try to hold this contraction strongly for as long as you can (1 - 10 seconds). Keep breathing! Now release and relax. You should have a definite feeling of letting go.

2. Rest 10 - 20 seconds - repeat Step 1, and remember it is important to rest. If you find it easy to hold, try to hold longer and repeat as many as you are able. Work towards 12 long, strong holds.

3. Now try 5 - 10 short, fast strong contractions.

    do NOT hold your breath

    do NOT push down instead of squeeze and lift

    do NOT pull your tummy in tightly

    do NOT tighten your buttocks and thighs.

Try to set aside 5 - 10 minutes in your day for this exercise routine, and remember, quality is important. A few good contractions are more beneficial than many half-hearted ones and good results take time and effort. Remember to use the muscles when you need them most. That is, always tighten before you cough, sneeze, lift, bend, get up out of a chair, etc.

Now that we have covered how the exercises are done here are some reasons why you want to do them regularly. These exercises have additional benefits for men, like being able to sustain an erection for longer, improving your ejaculation/orgasm contractions, helping with bowel control and regularity and so on. The benefits of these should make them a must have for a daily health routine.
Practicing this control method and strengthening your pelvic wall allows you to contract around your partner and with practice create a wavelike motion of muscle around them while they are inside you. The famous ‘snapping pussy’ trick involves the use of these little understood muscles. They are a Good boys best friend and a Daddy’s favorite glove to slip into. Before attempting anal sex for the first time or if inexperienced, be sure to check in with your partner as you go along. Be sure it is something you both want to do, and are both willing to be patient at the start while things become loose enough for full penetration. 

A Boy’s Guide to Pleasing His Daddy: Volume 5

The following is part of a series of, "Lessons from Daddy," posted on TUMBLR by, 'Ultra Boyhunter'

THIS DADDY has no idea if this or any of the other writings are original and claims no ownership of anything written in this series. THIS DADDY doesn't agree with some of the terminology used (the term, Son, for example) and the content does not necessarily  represent the views of THIS DADDY or, 'Buck Up, Princess.'  

The content, as posted on the Ultra Boyhunter blog, contains language, videos and images which are not appropriate for readers under 18 (21 in AL, MS, NE, WY, and any other location where 18 is not the age of majority).  Those videos and images are not included on, "Buck Up, Princess" and it is recommended that anybody not of legal age not visit the Ultra Boyhunter blog itself.

For those of an appropriate age, these pieces are interesting, providing insight into a certain form of intergenerational relationship. Some of the 'helpful hints' may be useful for Dads/lads and Tops/bottoms.

A Boy’s Guide to Pleasing His Daddy: Volume 5: Using Your Mouth to Please Daddy

Posted on Tumblr by Ultra Boyhunter on December 27, 2013

 Oral Sex
Sounds clinical doesn’t it? Sucking Daddy’s c*ck tends to turn boys on more as a way to describe it, so that’s what we will use. This guide is all about some basic tips and tricks for sucking Daddy’s c*ck well. This can and should include previous lessons as these are all meant to build one on top of the other, so feel free to add in anything and everything you’ve learned from previous lessons. Sometimes a finger really can spice things up a bit for Daddy, see if he minds if you try things out on him and go from there. For now however, there are a few basic parts used to cover and things to do with them. (protip: moaning in pleasure around Daddy’s c*ck is a serious bonus, but don’t over use it.)

Lips: These are your first tool, and among the best at your disposal when used properly. The sensation of lips on Daddy’s c*ck can be a real turn on, so don’t be afraid to kiss the head, shaft, foreskin or any other part. Kisses feel nice just about anywhere. They can be used instead of a hand to slide back and forth across the head and shaft with or without suction or anything else. They can be kept close together to form a ring to tighten the feeling on Daddy’s c*ck or kept apart for when you want to slip down without him feeling it being in your mouth until the head hits the back of your throat. The surprise sensation can be very enjoyable.

Teeth: Teeth get a bad wrap when it comes to oral sex. Most of the time it’s best to keep them away from the action by keeping your lips over them but they do have their uses. A little chew, nibble or drag of teeth along the sensitive skin can be very nice contrast to the soft,warm wetness of your mouth on Daddy’s c*ck. As always, check in and see what he thinks about what you are doing, and ask permission to try something first.

Tongue: The tongue is VERY useful during oral sex. It is not always the best advice to keep it down and leave it there. In fact, the most skillful boys know that the tongue when swirled around gently over the tip or pressed up along the underside as Daddy’s c*ck goes into their mouth can bring great pleasure. Licking is extremely good, as is kissing, anywhere on Daddy’s c*ck. The more you show your adoration of Daddy’s c*ck the better. Lick it from top to bottom, lick the head, and balls, anywhere your tongue wants to go, let it. Most Daddy’s wouldn’t stop you from tonguing them thoroughly before using your hand or as prelude to trying something like deep throat or before fucking.

Suction: This key staple of oral sex is often used improperly. Sucking can be done anywhere, just like licking and should be. Gentle suction or strong suction depending on preference and what you are doing can maximize the effectiveness of your ability to suck Daddy’s c*ck to orgasm. That said however, do not always use suction or even the same amount, vary your approach until you learn what makes him moan. Then keep it that way. Only slow down or throttle back the suction if you want to prolong the session, which is a good way to get Daddy to moan, but may irritate him. Check in, as always (and yes I will keep repeating this since so many boys forget this part).

Throat: The depth of your ability to love your Daddy’s c*ck. This place isn’t easy to train or to relax, but takes practice, patience and gentle guidance. Getting Daddy to be all the way in can be very taxing at first, but after time invested, becomes very rewarding. Not only is it good to push the head into the back of your throat once in a while, with enough practice you can STAY there and tighten your throat around the head and shaft while using your tongue and lips to provide suction and movement. Done well, using your throat is a talent not just another hole to slam a load into. Anyone can sit there and get throat fucked, but a Good boy can use Daddy’s c*ck like that without Daddy having to move. Now on to some specific tricks of the trade.

Nursing: This is as simple as it sounds. Gentle suction, lips doing most of the work. Pull the tip into your lips using suction then work the head between your lips back and forth using pull and push from suction and exhale. Done slowly and patiently this can be a very pleasant and relaxing way to show Daddy you want to please him. Nursing is not very taxing and can be done when you need a break from more strenuous activity WITHOUT breaking contact with Daddy’s c*ck. That should be a goal, if your mouth can’t handle it, use your hands and keep contact at all times unless told otherwise. Try to not suck too hard and resist the urge to dive further down. This is a perfect spot to look at Daddy and ask permission to go further without speaking. If you have to, try to not break contact. It can be a serious turn on to have a boy refuse to let go of your c*ck but still have to talk to you.

Tongue Rolling: For this, your mouth should be slightly open, and no suction or lip action involved. You simply roll your tongue lifting and caressing the head and some of the shaft when you flick your tongue down out of your mouth. Swirl your tongue around the head slowly, you want Daddy to feel what you are doing and to see how patient you are being, waiting for him to encourage you to go further and to see he is enjoying what you are doing. This can be used as alternation to nursing where you pull a little in to lick then start nursing again.

The ‘sucking in’: This is almost entirely suction. No tongue, lips form the seal and keep gentle pressure as things slide inward. Don’t be afraid to ‘slurp’ or let the suction ‘pop’ at certain times, the change can be thrilling. This is a fun way to bring Daddy further in for the tongue to nurse trick. Suck gently and begin pulling Daddy’s c*ck into your mouth slowly sliding backward along your tongue. This can also be done as prelude to the Bobbing for Daddy Apples technique.

Bobbing for Daddy Apples:What more needs to be said of this technique really? Your lips form the ring that slides down from the tip to midway down the shaft and with gentle suction and tongue pressure slide up and down the shaft. For variation you can go down without touching (or suction/tongue action) then start at the lower end of the stroke to suck and lick your way back up or vice versa. You can let your Daddy set the tempo or if he is letting you work, you control how fast or slow the motion is. My advice: don’t rush this. This is your chance to shine, let Daddy see how much you want to do this.

The Long Stroke:This is a patient and slow variation of the Bobbing technique which can be done at varying speeds. This also combines a hand or two as needed at the base or if using both, at the middle of the shaft. The base hand as before holds the shaft in place, and the middle hand slides up and down. The difference is that now your lips are against the ring your hand makes and you are sucking and tonguing, keeping your lips against your hand. A light to medium grip with the hand and light or medium suction should be all you need with a long slow stroke to make your Daddy groan in pleasure.

Deep Throat: This is not the be all and end all of oral sex techniques. It is fantastic and a skill worth having to be sure, but not every stroke needs to be buried to the base in the back of your throat. You skip every other part if you rush to the back. Swallowing hard can help pull the head past resistance at the back of your throat. Keeping your tongue down and teeth covered by your lips to ensure you don’t drag when doing this. Deep throat really does take practice and guidance. With your Daddy’s help and sufficient practice you will learn when to breathe, when to swallow hard and when to relax and let Daddy move in and out of the back of your throat.

Tonguing the balls: This I include mostly as a ‘taunt’ to those who are good at Deep throat. There is more that you can do. One final mind blowing trick. When you reach that last inch, with your face buried against Daddy’s crotch, nuzzling his hair, you can slide your tongue out. When you do either bring his balls up or if your tongue is long enough just start licking around under the base of his c*ck. If you can bring his balls up, lick them for a few moments before sliding back to catch your breath.

With patience, practice and determination, every boy can learn to use their mouth to please Daddy. I wish you all happy sucking!

A Boy’s Guide to Pleasing His Daddy: Volume 4

The following is part of a series of, "Lessons from Daddy," posted on TUMBLR by, 'Ultra Boyhunter'

THIS DADDY has no idea if this or any of the other writings are original and claims no ownership of anything written in this series. THIS DADDY doesn't agree with some of the terminology used (the term, Son, for example) and the content does not necessarily  represent the views of THIS DADDY or, 'Buck Up, Princess.'  

The content, as posted on the Ultra Boyhunter blog, contains videos and images which are not appropriate for readers under 18 (21 in AL, MS, NE, WY, and any other location where 18 is not the age of majority).  Those videos and images are not included on, "Buck Up, Princess" and it is recommended that anybody not of legal age not visit the Ultra Boyhunter blog itself.

For those of an appropriate age, these pieces are interesting, providing insight into a certain form of intergenerational relationship. Some of the 'helpful hints' may be useful for Dads/lads and Tops/bottoms.

 A Boy’s Guide to Pleasing His Daddy: Volume 4

 Posted on Tumblr by Ultra Boyhunter on December 26, 2013

Using your Hands to please Daddy
This is one of the most basic thing a boy learns to do to himself at an early age. As soon as you discover your penis feels good, you learn to touch it in ways that feel good. This is what we are going to discuss in this next installment of the boy’s guide. This part will focus on how to use the previous lessons together to bring your Daddy pleasure using just your hands, and will touch on a few basic techniques using one or both hands in different places. Be sure to ask for guidance from Daddy, especially if you are inexperienced. The tempo, grip and lubrication choices should be at his direction, or if he wants you to experiment, use your best judgment but seek confirmation and approval of the technique you try. Be mindful of what your face is doing while you are pleasing Daddy, and be sure to show your appreciation for what you are doing as well as what you are doing it to. This is a primer only, and will cover 4 simple techniques with a few pointers to make them more effective.

The one handed rising stroke:
This simple technique uses light to medium grip, sliding up the length of the shaft from base to tip of head, then the hand opens to return to the base and slowly ‘milk’ the blood flow upward. The is a single direction movement, you don’t stroke downward using this technique. It is best if the shaft and head, as well as your hand, are slick with spit or a combination of spit and precum if your Daddy leaks. This is a teasing stroke, to bring more blood into the shaft and head. It can be done with your hand from between his legs pulling the shaft toward your mouth as a tease, or reaching down and slowly sliding up if you are above his penis (in a sixty nine position). This increases pleasure for later techniques but isn’t always needed. It is a nice ‘tease’ when drawn toward your mouth, or just to maintain contact without rushing to the orgasm.

The ole one handed up and down stroke:
This can be done slick or dry depending on what your Daddy likes and if he is cut or uncut. Sometimes that doesn’t matter here if he leaks a lot of precum, as it will get lubricated anyway. A medium firm grip sliding slowly up and down the shaft is all that is needed here. For a loosely uncut Daddy, the feeling of sliding the skin back can be very pleasurable, so placing your hand just above the rim and sliding down until the foreskin is fully retracted can be very nice. For a Cut Daddy, the slick grip feels VERY nice especially if you run your thumb along the frenulum on the up stroke. If dry isn’t preferred, use the precum or spit on your hand to provide lubrication.

The Choke and Stroke:
This is a two handed technique that uses one hand with a firm downward pressure around the base as the other hand does either the Rising or the Up and down strokes. The hand at the base is to provide pressure and as discussed previously, keep blood in the penis while the other hand strokes it. This does make the penis swell a little, but you should always be mindful to avoid pain by gripping too tightly to the base. That hands job is primarily to keep the shaft pointed away from Daddy while the other hand moves back and forth along this shaft with the grip you should have established pleases him previously.

The Double Stroke:
This one has a few special side effects. You grip Daddy’s cock’s shaft with both hands either together like you are holding your own hands or one on top of the other as you perform the Up and Down stroke. The secret of this trick is it makes Daddy feel like his cock is huge in your hands, and it can feel that way in your hands too. A patient stroke and alternating a light or medium grip depending on location can bring a great deal of pleasure. You can slide your hands around the shaft like you are wringing out a towel (gently mind you) while doing this to change how it feels for Daddy. He may like the feeling, and sight, of you between his legs milking his cock toward your face.