An Opinionated Daddy's View of Life

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


You know, pushing 50, THIS DADDY would like to think he’s learned a few things. In many of the contexts of life, work, love, etc., THIS DADDY has been there and done that. After dating for over 25 years, I thought I’d learned everything possible and experienced it all. But you know what? It turns out that I was wrong. After being alone for 3 years, I found myself dating a nice young Hunter I met on Daddyhunt. Not my type at all. I tend to date really masculine, stable to the point of boring guys, who, while on the one hand they might love to cook, on the other their idea of a good time is fixing the plumbing. Hairy, messy, overtly intellectual (he reads Kant for fun), utterly unable to cook, no use around the house, prone to flightiness, at first, neither of us thought our involvement would come to anything of substance. We both acknowledged from the start that he was too young (mid-twenties) and too unstable (he hated the city in which I live, was planning on going away to graduate school) for us to have a ‘serious’ relationship. True to form, in this relationship as in others, I was my usual gruff, curmudgeonly self. I was bossy, insisting that everything was my way or the highway. I am the Daddy, after all. I think I figured, what’s the harm. He isn’t going to be around long anyway. You know what? Unlike others, some Hunters, some not, I’d dated through the years, he called me on my crap. He wasn’t afraid to tell me when I hurt his feelings or when he thought I was being bossy just to be bossy. In doing so, he made me think about my patterns of behavior. He taught me to be, or at least think about being, more patient and less authoritative. He even taught me that it is tolerable to find dirty socks lying around the house in all sorts of weird places and learn to accept cabinet doors being open all over the house. If an old dog like THIS DADDY can learn new tricks, especially from a young puppy, perhaps you can too. Personal growth occurs through learning life’s lessons. A smart Daddy would be wise to remember this fact. While it is definitely true that sometimes, most times really, Daddy does know best, sometimes a Hunter can teach his Daddy a thing or two.

At least this is what THIS DADDY thinks.

David - Dir. Roberto Fiesco 14 minutes

Unemployed businessman José, looking for work in the city, finds instead David; a much younger man who whilst mute, has no problem in communicating his desire for sex.

Roberto Fiesco is the producer of Broken Sky, Bramadero and Raging Sun, Raging Sky.

DAVID is part of the DVD collection:

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Intergenerational Gay Dating: Older Men for Younger Men

By: Robert H. Hawkins

"To each his own," my mother used to say, and as long as you're not hurting anyone--who am I to judge?

This is not a scientific study, but rather a summary of observations I've made about younger men for older men over the past two years while working for an online gay dating service.

Also, I will only discuss with adults over 18 that express an interest in intergenerational gay dating.

While working on an online relationships site, I've noticed an fascinating occurrence of intergenerational gay dating. I'm not sure how many gay men are attracted to other adult men of significantly different ages. But I've definitely noticed that there are a lot of mature men seeking less mature men, and plenty of younger men who want to meet older men as well. Someone might have detailed statistics on how many men are into intergenerational gay relationships, but through discussions and contacts, I've heard some very interesting insights.

Some younger guys tell me that they've been attracted to older men since they first realized they had same sex attractions. Likewise, they often report sensing that many older men seemed to be similarly attracted to them. Younger guys who are attracted to mature men have told me that they sometimes feel alone with these feelings, and that even their closest pals don't sympathize so much.

I've even spoken to one guy in his 40's who tells me that as he grows older, he's attracted exclusively to guys 20 years or more his senior! The guys around my age (and even some older) who are attracted to older men have told me that what attracts them most for younger men for older men is that they are more sophisticated, experienced, and level-headed than others in their generation.

Conversely, I've also had some in-depth discussions with a couple of older men for younger men. They explain to me that they feel more comfortable with younger, more energetic and optimistic partners... and that finally, they've been lucky enough to find younger guys who reciprocate their feelings.

Now, I have to point out one thing that came up in nearly every talk I've had. A lot of older men seem to be nervous that younger men view them only as sugar daddies. Interestingly, a lot of younger men seemed nervous about the same thing.... that they would be perceived as beggars, on the hunt for a rich gay sugardaddy. It seems that in these trouble times, suspicion gets the better of everybody. Again, who am I to criticize the motives of others? As long as you're not exploiting anyone....

Most interesting to me of all is that with all the solitude they deal with, they actually are out for a real relationship... or at the very least a genuine no-strings-attached encounter. But money grubbing is the last thing on their minds.

It's a simple matter of "to each his own," and thankfully the Internet has been able to bring the members of this community, with their intergenerational adult feelings, together.

Article Source:

Robert Hawkins is a Stanford graduate computer scientist. Over the past few years while working for a dating service, he's been fascinated by the dynamics of online relationships, and has collected many interesting observations about intergenerational gay dating. More at

Note: The content of this article solely conveys the opinion of its author, Robert H. Hawkins


THIS DADDY imagines that all Daddies dream that they’ll meet the perfect Hunter. They hope that they’ll fall in love, their lives will be complete, and the two of them will go riding off into the sunset on their Harley, living happily ever after. One of the hardest things about dating younger guys, is the knowledge up front that these relationships often have a limited shelf life. Daddy/Hunter relationships are all about learning, sharing, and growing, growing sometimes meaning moving on. As corny as it sounds, these relationships can be sort of like the ‘circle of life’. So, it is quite possible, unless he is a virgin (or you are the first Daddy with whom he’s been), the Hunter with whom you fall in love has been with a Daddy before. Like you, that Daddy likely had strong opinions on all sorts of topics: monogamy, moving in together, safe sex, etc. So, what does that mean for you? It means that sometimes the Hunter you love will say things or do things that to you seem illogical. Sometimes he will get upset about things that you do or don’t do or insist on things that to you seem ridiculous. Is he right, maybe. Are you right to find this frustrating, maybe. But if you understand this going into the relationship, and you have frank discussions about issues as they arise, you are both more likely to be happier. Besides, it is quite possible that you will learn something, which I always a good thing. However it works out, a brief time shared, or a lifetime of love, try to find a way to find enjoyment in every minute you share together.

At least that is what THIS DADDY thinks.