An Opinionated Daddy's View of Life

Sunday, December 30, 2012

How Did You Meet Your Daddy or Boy?

I saw on REDDIT today, a thread with that title. (How Did You Meet Your Daddy or Boy? )    The thread, submitted ago by daddys_boy88, asking the question, "I know there are a few people in relationships on here and I was just wondering where people generally meet their partners. I'm just curious to hear of other people's experiences and I'm sure others are, too. I would love to hear some good stories here."

I've often wondered the same thing myself.  As I've said before, I have tended, in my own socially, dysfunctional way, to meet the guys I date online or through personal ads.  I think only 3 times in all my years of chasing tail, have I met guys in social situations which lead to some kind of relationship or another.  I met one guy at church...he hit on me.  I met another guy at a Halloween little brother called me at the last minute saying, " need to find a costume and get to this party...there are people like YOU here..." And, I met my first love at a dance recital...I walked in, told the friend I was with, "I am going to get laid tonight if it kills me."  I looked over, saw a cute guy (obviously know how sometimes, even from across a room, you can just tell) and the rest, as they say, is history.

Sam, my former and likely last young man, and I met on Daddyhunt.  We'd cruised each other's profiles a couple of times, each assuming we didn't meet the standards listed by the other.  Well, it turned out we were both wrong.  Even though he was actually dating someone else at the time and we were just supposed to be 'hook up buddies,' we hit it off and fell in love.

It was really interesting to read the responses.

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Guyliner: Taking on the Internet One Gay at a Time


The 25 Men You Should Never Date

Posted: 27/12/2012 00:00

There are so many good guys out there -- you almost need two hands to count them. But in among the gold, is the tin. The sand in your sandwiches, the rain on your parade. The world is full of men you shouldn't date, for every kind of reason.

If only there were some kind of test, or a 'tell', so you could easily divine the dregs from the demigods. There's no magic answer, but if your potential beau is a 'yes' to any of the list below, it may be time to cast your net a little farther.
You should never date a man who...
1. Panic-buys Christmas presents from the Boots '3 for 2' gift department. Nobody needs that much 'body butter', thanks.
2. Has illegible handwriting.
Is he scrawling "love you" or "fuck you"? Who knows?! Special dispensation for doctors. Doctors are hot. Usually.

3. Has a pet name for his car. Or his cock.
Minus another ten points if when he locks his car, he walks away from it and then looks back to check---- well, what, exactly?

4. Says "it's designer" when talking about his clothes.
5. Says 'YOLO' -- even if he's doing it ironically.
6. Refuses to ride shotgun in a minicab.
What else won't this lily-livered lace handkerchief do if he won't do that?

7. Gets embarrassed while tipping his barber.
Not to mention one who fucks his barber in exchange for a free short back & sides.

8. Puts raisins in a curry.
9. Thinks good spelling is more important than sexiness.
A well-spelled word is a thing of beauty, but mealy-mouthed pedantry is the anti-erection.

10. Says "I speak as I find".
11. Says "quelle surprise!"
Unless he's French. Then that hot Gallic bastard can say what the hell he likes.

12. Retweets parody accounts.
Especially all those ones pretending to be the Queen or X Factor alumni.

13. Asks you to 'inbox' him.
14. Expresses surprise at The X Factor result.
The producers decide who's going to win halfway through the run, most years. Why do you care?

15. Drones on about errors/vitriol in the Daily Mail.
Yeah, we get it. The DM is bad and evil and poorly written. Thanks for your brand-new opinion. It doesn't care whether you like its disregard for semicolons, present participles or anyone who isn't a WASPy old fart from Henley-on-Thames.

16. Calls Coca-Cola "fat Coke".
17. Uses a fake name when asked for it in Starbucks.
18. Uses the word 'ledge' when they mean 'legend'.
19. Buys supermarket-brand cling film.
It doesn't cling to the things you want it to.

20. Uses 'methinks' in general conversation.
Unless he's a Jacobean squire roasting a hog on the village green during Michaelmas.

21. Attempts to dress sexily at the gym.
Muscles are the only thing he should be pulling during his workout, not bits of fitness-worshipping fluff.

22. Doesn't laugh when people fall over - unless it's you doing the falling.
Also, doesn't really work if it's old people on icy paths. That's kind of evil.

23. Corrects people's grammar on Grindr.
He's not at a book club; he's there to be brutalised sexually like everybody else. If he wants to look highbrow, maybe he should wear a mortar board in his profile pic.

24. Dresses like an exam invigilator.
It's okay to wash a jumper every now and again. And, no, chenille doesn't feel nice.

25. Is in his 30s and is thrilled to still be asked for ID when buying booze and/or cigarettes.
Yeah, some checkout drone thought they'd have a laugh and ask you if you were over 25; you're not Peter Pan.

And one more for luck...
26. Writes blogs about who you should and shouldn't date
The delicious irony is, of course, that I am a physician without a cure. I'm at least 10 of these men. Well, nine. If you can guess exactly which ones, I owe you a pint.

But once you look the list over, you're highly unlikely to want me for a drinking partner.
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I Agree!

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Those Who Can't Do Teach...

So, I think I've reached the 'teacher' stage of my romantic life.  As you know if you read my blog with any frequency, I've been single now for well over a year.  As the time passes and I find myself dateless, I tend to look back at when I did have a dating life.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I still have lots of opportunities for sex, just no opportunities for anything more than that.  There is, for example, the late-20's country boy who comes by every week or so for some quality 'daddy/laddy' time.  I am even in talks with a 21 year old college student to do some intense 'tutoring' sessions.

All of this is fun, or at least it should be, shouldn't it?  I mean, I've had sex with some of the sexiest, most amazing guys you can possibly imagine.  Unlike many of my peers, I've also had serious relationships in which I've imagined I was loved.  It turns out I was substantially wrong, of course, at least in some cases, but still.  And in the end, real love or not, each has ended, some abruptly, some with warning, but all have ended.

I find it interesting that my role as 'tutor' has essentially been on-going since I first came out and started f*king guys in 1985.  Whether serious, long-term, or hook ups, almost to a one, after taking 'courses' from me, all the boys I still have some sort of connection with have (Sam; my ex who lives down the street; Bad Paul, Craig, Michael, and the list goes on and on) gone on to long term serious relationships. Many, in fact, have gone right from me into the 'love of their life' relationship, meaning they are still together.  My ex who lives down the street, for example, was already telling the nelly, borderline retarded, skeez for whom he left me, "I love you," while my ex and I were still living together.  So, he's never really even has a single day in his life (at least not since he came out at 29 when he started seeing me).

So, I am proud, I guess, that the guys I've 'taught' have learned their lessons well.  I mean, like any 'daddy' it is my job to mentor, teach, and share what I have learned and then, like a mother bird, watch as my little chicks grow their wings and leave the nest.  But, as I get older, I wonder if am I really strong enough to keep 'tutoring,' without the opportunity to be in a lasting relationship of my own. 

My therapist insists that I am not the issue, rather it is the guys who I date. who can't commit or are too emotionally damaged, or too emotionally immature for a long term relationship.  And, it is true that I have always attracted damaged guys, or novices more in love with being in love, than perhaps being in love with me.  But really, what is the common denominator in all of this relationship ebb and flow?  Me.  So, it seems to me that it only makes sense that there must be something wrong with me that causes this churn.  Is it that being with me is such a trial, that being with anyone else is better or easier than being with me?  Is it that I am such a good teacher, that once I've 'taught' someone, they make great boyfriends, ready to be snatched up by someone else? 

Sometimes I feel like a stereotype out of a chick flick.  Like, Meg Ryan or Carrie Bradshaw.  I've heard, 'it isn't you, it's me' so many times, I should have cards printed up that I hand out on every first date, so if things go well, he'll have it in his wallet to pull out when the time is right, or if it doesn't work out, he can hand it to me in lieu of a good night kiss.

I know some of the most repulsive people, true ogres, who are happily partnered.  Like my former boss.  She is both physically repulsive (she is the only person I've ever met who is both a pizza face...her face is so pocked it looks like she has leprosy...and a butter face, she wears so much makeup that her wretched skin looks like it is sliding off of her skull, all at the same time).  She has a personality which is so evil that knowing her makes me glad I believe there is a hell, since I know she is bound there on a fast train.  Yet, she not only has friends (which is hard to believe, since she is such a vile human being) but is also involved in a seemingly happy relationship. I mean, for heaven's sake, if someone that ugly and loathsome can have a long-term, loving relationship, shouldn't I be able to as well?

I am starting to feel like Mr. Chips, never destined for a long-term relationship of his own, rather his worth is in the 'students' he teaches and sends off into the world.

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

"Fill the World With Love" (Petula Clark, Boys Chorus)
Uploaded on Oct 9, 2010
Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1969 film)
[ available to purchase ]

Goodbye, Mr. Chips is a 1969 American musical film directed by Herbert Ross. The screenplay by Terence Rattigan is based on James Hilton's 1934 novella of the same name, which originally was adapted for the screen in 1939.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Speaking of Dating Sites....

Okay, I admit it, I have profiles listed on;;; and even on OKCupid.  Results?  Zilch, zero, nada, Nichivo.  I am especially surprised at the 'matches' that each of the 'cupids' used by these sights sends me.

On Gaydating, for example, I am sent daily a list of matches.  When I check out those matches, inevitably that individual's profile states he seeks someone like: 

My Partner's Looks

  • 18 - 35
  • Native American, Asian, African/Black, Hispanic/Latino, Middle Eastern, Bi-Racial, Pacific Islander, Caucasian/White
  • Athletic, Average, Muscular, Slim
  • Black, Dark Brown, Light Blonde, Auburn/Red
Of the items I state in my profile, even the most casual viewer would find:

  • 50 
  • Large

Okay, so I prefer 'stocky' or 'beefy' to 'large', but still.

Anyway, it would seem clear that of the qualities my 'match' lists,  I only possess only one:  I am white. So, just how in the heck are we a 'match'.  Puzzled, I sent the following message to their customer service:

This is more a comment. Why is it I receive "New Match - Meet Username" when I clearly don't meet that individual's criteria, usually age. In the bulk of such invitations I've received, the user clearly states a preference, usually age, that I don't meet. So, it is a waste of my time to even respond. That seems like a pretty obvious criteria by which the system should be screening people. 

Their response (in part):

In response to your concern, the cupid matches are set up to find new members in your general location and age range. If there aren't any members who meet these criteria the cupid matches will send you the members who are closest to fitting the specified criteria....

I am hardly the sharpest tool in the shed, but it would seem like no matter what it is that I might seek, if I don't meet even the most basic of his stated requirements,  we can hardly be a match.

To be honest, I'd rather not get 'matches' with whom I am not a match.  Granted, that might mean I never receive any messages, but still.  I mean, for heaven's sake...I get that the 'cupid' can only know and match some of the most basic stuff which appears in a can't sort by whether or not the guy has nice feet, or whether or not my thumb is a good example of what it is my d*ck looks like...but, shouldn't it be able to tell that is I am 'large' and '50' and he seeks someone skinny, 35 or under, or vise versa?

This disconnect would seem to make the whole idea of listing what qualities we seek and what qualities we possess moot. 

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Civility is as Civility Does

December 8 at 6:14pm
... looking forward...
... to more good word...
... in your blog...

... pray you well...
... and if spirits fell...
... only into pools...
... of grace...

I don't know who this, "laeth" fellow is...but by golly it is sure nice when I hear from him.  Not because he likes my blog, etc., but he just seems like an awfully nice fellow.  Sending nice thoughts to a stranger over the internet.  Wow, that is really different...usually it is just mean-spirited jabs sent by anonymous cyber thugs who glory in being able to attack folks without repercussion.

I hope that 2013 is a wonderful year for this laeth fellow.  In fact, I know it will be.
At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
Strangers in the Night is a 1966 album by Frank Sinatra.
The album marked Sinatra's return to #1 on the pop album charts in the mid-1960s, and it consolidated the comeback he started in 1966.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Buck Up, Princess Named a Top 100 LGBT Marriage, Dating and Relationship Blog!

I don't know if this is significant, but Buck Up, Princess has been named a top 100 LBGT marriage, dating, and relationship blog, by is written by Joseph Atkins, who (according to his blog) loves blogging about relationships and dating. The site focuses mostly on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender dating and gives recommendations on dating sites to join and blogs to read for the LGBT community.

Perhaps you should check it out?

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.