Bought new home near lake.
Found love again in late middle age.
Promoted, no raise.
I've DONE the whole bar thing. I had my heart broken. I’ve gotten fired. I've been poor. I’ve lived in a cold, damp, noisy studio apartment, subsisting on Top Raman, sleeping on a futon. I've been at the stage of life at which you find yourself, really. So, sometimes when I give advice, it would be nice, if you actually took it. Sure, I am not always right, and sometimes perhaps I should just keep my big mouth shut. But, really, I didn't get this far, without learning a few things. That doesn't mean I should be a bossy pr*ck who controls your life, but it does mean I have valuable insight to offer and sometimes you might want to just shut up and listen, even if just to humor us sometimes. One of the classic reasons, aside from our hot bodies and impressive sexual prowess, Hunters chase after Daddies is because we are more ‘mature’, ‘stable’, ‘experienced’. In all the years I’ve been a Daddy, I’ve seen many repetitions of what I’ve come to think of as the cycle of life of a typical ‘Daddy/Hunter’ relationship. Hunter meets Daddy. Daddy and Hunter have a ‘connection’. The attraction is fierce. The sex is great. The romance is intense. As things progress, the Daddy engages in the mentorship and experience sharing natural for an older guy, infatuated with a younger one. At first, the Hunter eagerly listens to everything the Daddy says, taking all of this thoughtfully offered advice and counsel in. Time passes. The infatuation cools. The routines of daily life begin to intrude. The Hunter starts making more and more of his own decisions, less and less often seeking the Daddy’s advice. The Hunter wants more and more to be respected for his intelligence and maturity, and less and less to be lusted after for his hot body and sexual skills. This makes many a Daddy frustrated, he does value his young swain for things other than his hotness, but as a Daddy, he wants to be respected and valued for his experience and maturity. So he bears down, giving more and more advice and more strongly insisting the Hunter take it. They clash, mean things are said, feelings are hurt, and the relationship ends. Look, being a Daddy does not give someone the right to be a patronizing manipulator, dominating the life of another, though some Daddies do live up this unfortunate stereotype. I would hope that any Hunter who was dating someone like that would get the h*ll out of such a relationship. It does mean, however, that Daddy has knowledge and experience of value that, being a Daddy, he is compelled to share. A smart Daddy learns when to press and when to step back maybe even knowing that the Hunter he loves is going to crash and burn. Personal growth occurs through learning life’s lessons. Sometimes it takes making a mistake, maybe even a big one to grow. A smart Daddy remembers this fact. A smart Hunter, though, quickly learns that sometimes Daddy really does know best.
At least this is what THIS DADDY thinks.
As a Daddy, I have a dating history. It is a basic fact of life. For good or for ill, that means some of that dating history will 'leak' into my relationship with you. Maybe I don’t like it, maybe you don’t like it, but there it is. Nobody is perfect. Nobody’s relationship slate is completely clean, unless they are a virgin. Dating a virgin, of course, has its own issues, but I digress. We learn something new from each relationship into which we enter, each relationship informing the next. In some cases, Daddy may have been dating since before you were born. When Daddy talks about his ‘ex’, for example, he is probably talking about someone he dated and lived with for over a decade, someone who broke up with Daddy via email, while Daddy was away at the war, dumping Daddy for some nelly skeez the ex was poking behind Daddy’s back. When you, dear Hunter, talk about your ‘ex’, you are more likely talking about some guy you dated for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, until the sex wore off and you found out what a crashing bore he really was. Both experiences might be quite painful, and both will likely leave marks, but the difference in havoc wreaked for each is quite vast. It means that Daddy probably has lots and lots more ‘baggage’ in regards to relationships than do you, some good baggage, some bad. In a perfect world, any bad baggage would not translate from one relationship to another. I hate to break it to you, boys and girls, but this isn’t a perfect world, the bad baggage does linger. At this stage in life, a practiced Daddy likely has a clearer idea of what he seeks in a relationship and what he hopes to get out of it. Daddy knows how relationships work, and, if he is smart, that sometimes even the best relationships end. This can be good, or bad. Daddy has, hopefully, learned to be more patience or tolerant, rather than learned to be more stiff, less willing to compromise. It isn’t like this is a new idea, but every relationship is about compromise. For a relationship to succeed both Daddy and Hunter need to have realistic expectations about each other and to communicate these expectations clearly. The clearer everybody is, the more they communicate, the higher the likelihood of success. And isn’t that we all want when entering a relationship, for it to succeed?
At least this is what THIS DADDY thinks.
(Written for and submitted for publication by www.daddyhunt.com. Publication pending. http://www.daddyhunt.com/blog)