The other day I watched a really interesting movie called, 'Clandestinos'. In a review of the film on IMDB a reviewer says, "....The film was watchable and had closure and despite having some questionable pedophilia over tones (sic) an admirable and worth a look film." I found this comment odd and I worried, as I started to watch the film, that it would therefore be full of creepy, old, predators, preying on youths. Instead, the film, to quote from a different passage in that same review, portrays, "After escaping from a dentition center our three teen miscreants are on the path to survival and for one a quest to prove themselves. the film highlights the usual (but by no means boring) aspects of teen life - peer pressure, individuality and sexuality." While the movie does deal with relationships between older and younger guys, and involves incidents of male prostitution, it contains no overt sex scenes, very little nudity (no more than in a typical European independent film), and the actors playing the teens were all in their 20's when the movie was produced, all portrayed as being 17 years old, or older.
I mention the last part because as I talked about the film with a young man, he was (having seen the movie himself) furious (when I mentioned it) that the reviewer would refer to what happens in the movie as, "...having some questionable pedophilia over tones (sic)." To quote him (or nearly so), "Oh yes, all older guys that prefer younger guys must be horrible predators. We, younger guys, must all be helpless innocents, without any urges or needs, who helpless fall victim to these perverts". (Author's note: I am not a skilled enough writer to properly describe Sam's sarcastic, ironic, and irritated tone as he said this. You, my gentle reader, will sort of have to imagine that for yourself.)
I should point out that this young man is 25, is preparing to go to graduate school, and works with juvenile sex offenders. Like many a 'boy', he believes that it is perfectly natural for people of different generations to date or form romantic or sexual relationships. He scoffs at the idea that a younger man (in this film, one still technically a 'teen' but clearly bordering on adulthood), is incapable of pursuing an older man or must somehow be a damaged soul, unable to protect himself from the greedy clutches of some old predator.
Clearly there are predators out there who prey on the young, or inexperienced. Clearly, anybody who seeks a sexual relationship with someone legally defined as a child (someone who under the law is defined as being 'underage') is a pervert. This sort of behavior is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.
I recently had an interaction on a website (explicitly restricted to users at least 18 years or older, I personally would never visit any website that didn't have such a restriction) with a fellow who Im'd me out of the blue and began the conversation with, "Boy, I am glad the legal age in this state is 16". I was appalled, offended, and immediately shut down the conversation, stating that I thought this conversation was inappropriate and that I didn't wish to participate, and then blocked the user from IMing me again. It sickens me that there are adults out there who prey on young people like that.
To be honest, though I've also had the opposite experience. I've been IM'd by young men who start out a conversation with, "I should tell you, I am really 16, but I have to put 18 in my profile, otherwise the moderators will delete my profile." I do essentially the same thing with these individuals. I tell them it would be inappropriate for us to chat and ask that they not attempt to engage me in such chat again, and then block them.
I would never seek to be with anybody under 18. But, I have been with 18 to 20 year olds (oddly, in both cases I am thinking of in particular, both frat boys, both who contacted me out of the blue while online, each insisting that they liked 'daddies') . These young men clearly knew what they wanted, derived pleasure and fulfillment from our time together, and had obviously done what we did together before. How do I know this? In each case, they asked to see me again, and did. In both cases I still occasionally get Im's, texts, or phone calls asking about getting together. Both are now in their mid to late 20's.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, one problem in socializing with younger men is that they are never as mature as they think they are. That is true at 17 and at 27 (heck, even 37 or 47). I've also said that too many older guys are users and act in predatory or trollish ways. But, are there times when a young man who is chronologically on the cusp of maturity capable of knowing what he wants and is therefore 'mature' enough to get it? The young man to whom I spoke seems to think so. I am not sure what to think. I don't think this idea is just some fantasy, dreamed up by older guys so that it can be portrayed in film or literature. Maybe I am wrong, but I've talked to too many young guys who've insisted that, when they think back to their youths, they felt 'ready' and prepared to be sexually active at ages I'd certainly find unacceptable. I am not sure how I feel about all this, but it is something upon which I've been pondering.
No comments:
Post a Comment