Does that mean that the Daddy can be lazy? No. Does it mean it isn't his job to make sure his lad is satisfied? No. You readers also know that I detest the behavior in our culture when tends to downplay the value of bottoms. I mean, come on...without high quality bottoms, just what would Tops do, beat off?
So, I was very pleased to stumble across the article which appeared on GayGuys.com below today.
How To Be A Better Top – From A Bottom’s Perspective
Published By: Blake Michaels | April 29, 2014
As a power bottom, it never ceases to amaze me how many tops fail to please. When you aim to make us happy, we’ll return the favor times a million. Two men trying to please each other equally are in for a whole lot of pleasure and before you know it, the sweat is dripping down our faces and we’re up to round three of an already long night.
You might think you’re awesome at sex, but
most of you tops are in desperate need of some tips. Bottoms don’t want
to be treated like blow up dolls, at least for the most part. We have
bodies too which means we feel pain. Just because we like to get
penetrated does not mean we want to be turned inside out. But
don’t worry. I’m here to let you know what most bottoms fail to tell you
because unlike the others, I’ve taken mental notes honey. I ain’t
afraid to use them. Here are a few things I’ve picked up. They’re
simple, yet make all the difference:
- You Need To Shower Too
Just because you might not be getting
penetrated doesn’t mean you are free from maintenance. If you have any
form of pubic hair, you better make sure you jump in the shower and
scrub yourself before any mouth or butt makes their way down there.
Trust me, it’s better to smell like vanilla than dried up sweat. Use
soap and water on the butt, penis, balls, and every place else you’re
exposing.
- Pay Attention
Even before foreplay begins, open up your
senses. See how his mood is in that particular moment. You don’t want to
appear too aggressive at the beginning, but you also don’t want to seem
too sensitive either. Welcome your touch and caress effortlessly, not
forcefully. If you make him uncomfortable at the beginning, you’re
setting the foundation for how the sex will be.
- Appreciate His Body
A bottom wants to know that you respect and
appreciate his body. We’re on the bottom side of things, you know. We
can get a bit insecure if our belly fat starts jiggling or you grab onto
our love handles or choke us in an effort to hide our double chin. The
minute you seem disgusted or unimpressed we tend to close up. For the
best of both our experiences, you better think I’m the hottest guy
you’ve ever had on top of you. Otherwise we’re in for an awkward night.
- Investigate His Zones
I’ve always believed the tongue has magic
powers when combined with hot breath. Exhale normally (not like your
trying to fog up a window) on the outer layer of his skin. Start on the
neck and work your way down to the nipples and stomach, especially the
“sex bone” area. Notice which areas he shivers most and you can get a
good sense of what he likes. Then, you can start implementing your
fingers. But be careful – fingernails hurt.
- Don’t Go Full Throttle At The Beginning
Going from zero to sixty in a matter of
seconds is never a good idea. Stop and think before you shove your d**k
inside. Give him a chance to warm up to you. The best idea is to let him
take control during this time. Let him find the passage way that’s most
comfortable. We’re all shaped differently, you know. Chances are, he’s
not going to like what your ex-boyfriend liked. Starting slow and
sensual is always a safe bet. From there, work your way up to the finish
line.
- Know How It Feels For Them
The greatest top is someone who’s done it
before and knows how it feels. Empathy creates a much better experience,
especially if you’re packing a big weapon. Trusting that your top is
considering your feelings allows a bottom to fully give in. So in
reality, it’s a win win for both of you. Don’t be selfish.
- Sensualness Is Key
You don’t need to be in love to be sensual, though it does
help. Making a connection is crucial before penetration because not
only does it open a window of trust, but it conjures an incredible
amount of rhythm. Your bodies become music, fitting inside each other’s
tempo and cadence the more sensual you become. Don’t overestimate it,
even if it’s just about the sex.
- Rid Yourself Of The Jackhammer
In case you didn’t figure out, anal sex can
hurt like a mother f**ker. Unless your bottom is totally cool with it,
stop humping him like a jack rabbit and most importantly, never pull it
fully out and fully in at a fast pace. It might look good in porn films,
but in reality it’s pretty effing painful. Naturally this is all up to
the bottom’s pain tolerance, but it’s best to see where it all goes.
- Take Control & Change Positions
It’s cool to be vanilla at times, but it
shouldn’t over take the whole experience. I’m not talking about bondage
or leather, but simply changing up the positions. Even the most
aggressive of power bottoms like to be controlled by a top who knows
what he’s doing. Never make it planned or rehearsed, but allow it to be a
natural progression from whatever position you changed from. Be the
coach and I’ll be the student.
- Make Sure He Gets Off
Okay, the whole power bottom thing leaves me cold, I mean, if you are going to be a power bottom, why not be a top? That said, I am often quoted as say, "I may want to f*ck you like a b*tch. But if I don't cherish and respect the opportunity you are allowing me to do so, I don't deserve to be putting my dick inside of you!"
At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
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