The Height of Narcissism

Why is it considered 'self loathing' to be attracted to someone who is an 'opposite' rather than a 'similar'? Why does not wanting to have sex with someone who looks like me (stocky, hairy, older) somehow indicative of me thinking that I am some how 'the sh*t' or that I think I 'deserve' someone better than I should expect. I don't think I deserve someone better, I just know to what kind of guys I am attracted. Isn't wanting to have sex with yourself (or someone that looks like you) the height of narcissism? It seems like it to me. And why do guys to whom I am not attracted take it so personally when I politely tell them so? It is as if somehow my tastes or opinions 'matter' or take precedence over others. They give me some sort of power that I can't possibly possess. The fact that I may not find someone attractive has no baring on their general 'attractiveness', rather, only their attractiveness to ME. I don't want to have sex or date someone to whom I am not attracted. If I could do that, I'd be able to date chicks I also don't want to have sex or date someone that doesn't find me attractive. Why would they (those who flame me)? That is what seems self-loathing to me, to demand someone find you attractive who doesn't and then attack them for what they like, when it doesn't include them.