Buck Up, Princess: Bear Community, Lesbian Community = Same, Same

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Bear Community, Lesbian Community = Same, Same

If you don't accept their orthodoxy, you are ostracized.
Both are supposed to be about 'acceptance' of those who don't fit in.
Each battles against the standards of beauty (the lesbian community battles against the patriarchial standards of beauty, the bear community battles against the focus in on youth and beauty).
Both are closeminded, haters.

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So, Just What is This Blog About?

I am an 'older' guy (early 50's) who prefers to date younger guys (mid-20's to early 40's or so). In the gay community (which is often all about 'labels'), this makes me a 'daddy'. Younger guys who like to date older guys are called 'lads' or 'hunters' or 'boys.' This is referred to as 'inter-generational dating'. This blog is devoted to my experiences with with aging and inter-generational dating, and my thoughts on that topic. It also features general rants about things I find irritating.

Hey, I am an old guy, we have strong opinions about stuff.

NOTE: AS THIS BLOG IS ABOUT DATING, IT THEREFORE INCLUDES SOME MATURE LANGUAGE AND REFERENCES TO SEX AND SEXUAL ACTS. EVERY ATTEMPT IS MADE TO KEEP EITHER ORIGINAL WRITINGS OR CONTENT LINKED FROM OTHER SITES AT THE 'PG' LEVEL. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY SUCH THINGS, I APOLOGIZE, AND RESPECTFULLY SUGGEST THAT THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU.

Okay, Before You Start Spewing the Hate....

The Dictionary of Gay Terms defines a daddy/boy relationship as the following:

1. Inter-generational relationships, a relationship where one person prefers a love partner much older than himself or herself, and the other person prefers a love partner much younger. for more information: Male Inter-generational Intimacy (1991) edited by Theo Sandfort, Ph.D.; Edward Brogersma, JD; and Alex van Naerssen, Ph.D.2.

So, when I use the term 'daddy' or I use the term 'boy', I am using those words in the context described above. Never, and I repeat, NEVER to refer to relations involving anybody who is not an adult. This isn't that kind of blog.

What is a Daddy?

A Daddy in gay culture is a slang term meaning a (typically) older man sexually involved in a relationship or having a sexual interest in a younger man. The age gap may differ, but the relationship involves the traditional parental hierarchy of father-son dynamics, the daddy providing emotional support and guidance along with sexual encouragement and nurturing to the inexperienced and vulnerable partner.

Often these relationships are categorized as either "DADDY and boi" or "DAD and son," although this is not absolute, and some relationships prefer no labels. Dad, or Daddy, are completely different from the similarly labeled sugar daddy, although this can sometimes lead to some confusion.

What is a boy?

Boi (plural: bois) is a term used within LGBT and butch and femme communities to refer to a person's sexual and/or gender identities.^[1]^[2] In lesbian communities, there is an increasing acceptance of variant gender expression, as well as allowing people to identify as a boi.^[3]^[4]^[5] The term may denote a number of possibilities that are not mutually exclusive:^[6]

A "boi" is (generally) the younger person who prefers older partners, and is the "boi" in a "daddy and boi" dating, relationship, or sexual situation, where "boy" and "boi", respectively, are used to differentiate between someone who is underage, and someone who just identifies as the younger who wants or needs someone older. In this context, "boi" can be masculine or effeminate, or anywhere along that spectrum, and some males identify as a "boi" well beyond their 20s, and especially so long as they are involved with older men. Often, though not always, a "boi" prefers the submissive role.

The term was also used as a variant of the spelling of boy when one could not register a username (particularly on AOL in the 90s when so many names were already registered) with the normal spelling boy as a part of the name. It was generally picked by younger gay males (commonly called twinks today).

Buck Up, Princess

Subtitle:

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Bear Community, Lesbian Community = Same, Same

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