The Tyranny of Type.

Society often 'forces' people to act in 'standardized' ways. And when people refuse to act in the proscribed ways, they are often critisized or even ostracized.

The gay community, like others, enforces certain 'standards' when it comes to appearance. Youth and 'beauty are prized above all else. These standards then reflect upon who (or is it whom) we are 'allowed' to date. Allowed, that is, by the peer pressure we receive if we chose to date someone outside the expected 'range'.

I often hear from various Hunters with whom I speak comments like, "I love being f*cked by a hot daddy, but I could never date one. My friends would make fun of me if did." I've been the recipient of this sort of 'pressure' myself. When my most recent relationship first began, the young man was very nervous about introducing me to his friends, worried how they'd react to his dating someone old enough to be his father (he is 26, I am 48). He spun it, of course, that the issue was really around 'interests' and such, that he was concerned about the lack of interests between his group of friends and me. When I pressed him, he admitted that it really had little to do with a potential lack of things in common, rather he was worried that he'd be pinged on by his running buddies for dating old guys. I've had similar experiences in less 'serious' relationships. I was semi-regular FB's with a really, REALLY hot younger guy (smooth, body of a marathon runner, total bottom, an amazing appreciation for aggressive sex). He was, in fact, the first person to actually call me 'Daddy' during certain intimate moments. At a certain point in our friendship, I mentioned that if the situation was a little different, I was recently out of a serious relationship from which I'd yet to recover, I'd pursue romantic relationship with him. His response, "Oh, I could never date someone as old as you". He was 31 at the time, I was 42 or 43. We'd just finished having hot, monkey sex, still lying naked and sweaty in my bed. He was perfectly happy to spread his legs for me, and call me 'daddy' while I mounted him or tongued his hole, but date someone my age, no way.

The reverse is also true. Many of my friends have commented that my recent relationship couldn't possibly be of consequence, because the fellow is so young. I've more than once been jokingly referred to as a 'cougar', 'cradle robber' or 'troll' even by close friends. My parents only ever refer to him as my 'friend' or my 'buddy', not boyfriend, believing it impossible that we could be dating. I've heard from many Daddies that as much as they like dating younger guys, they are also criticized by their peers for doing so.

When it comes to two consenting adults, I believe it is unacceptable for society to dictate to us in whom we should fall in love or with whom it is acceptable for us to create a relationship. The heart wants what it wants. The dick wants what it wants.

Okay, some guys set their standards so high as to be unrealistic, making the chance of finding love nearly impossible. I believe many use these standards as a self-defense mechanism, to make up for being gay,("if the guy I date is so totally hot, nobody will be able to criticize me for being gay, or fat, or short, etc., etc., etc.). But these are actions, people do to themselves. It is not acceptable for society or our peers to do the 'limiting' for us. I believe that to each his own. If my standards are so high that I can't find anybody who meets them, and I end up alone every Saturday night, fine. I am doing that to myself. But nobody else gets to do it for me.

At least that is what THIS DADDY thinks.