You're So Vain...

I'll bet you think this blog is about you, you're so vain...." Come on, sing along, you know the words.

Recently, while listening to "Fresh Air" on NPR, I heard an interview with an author who was on her third (count them: one, two, three) memoir. Really? Is anybody's life so important that they have to write three different books about it? If so, do people actually want to read that stuff? I guess so, I mean, she keeps getting published.

I was pondering the reasons today for why it is that I write this blog. Like writing a memoir, I think blogging by its very nature is a very egocentric act. I mean, for heaven sake, does anybody really care about what is going on the blogger's life? And, if so, why? Don't get me wrong, I am glad that people read what I write, and I certainly hope that my readers derive some pleasure in doing so. Still, by writing a blog and hoping folks will read it, am I acting like an egomaniac? Wait, don't answer that.

Originally I started this blog space as a 'rant space'. It didn't have a name or a particular topic area. It was merely a place where I could write rants and ruminations on a variety of topics. It was never intended to be read by anybody.

Then, as I continued to write, the blog morphed into something less about ranting and more about positivity. Daddyhunt, a website I visit frequently, asked for folks interested in writing for them to provide samples of their work. Never expecting anything to come of it, I did so. That got to rethink the purpose of this blog, made me want to make it more thematic, give it a name, etc. As DH wanted their articles generally be positive and upbeat, I started really concentrating on making sure my pieces were positive and affirming. It was, however, very important to me that my writing be authentic. Readers can spot a hypocrite a mile away. As I found myself happy in life, it was easy to write pieces that were both positive and yet authentic at the same time. As I began to appreciate my life more (new home, new love, new job), the blog's 'perkiness' and 'upbeatedness' seemed to increase. No more ranting for THIS DADDY. Life was good. If I, never anybody's idea of Sister Mary Sunshine, could be happy, then by golly others could to. The focus became rather about commenting on the 'goodness' of life, acceptance of aging, finding love unexpectedly, etc.

Lately, though, things have been different. I've noticed that as I experience my current 'dark' time (i.e. my recent break up with the boy I love; losing the job I enjoyed so much; worrying about paying my mortgage; finding out I am diabetic, etc.), my writing has lost a lot of its 'perkiness'. It is awfully hard to be perky when going through a time like this. So that brings me to back around to what started this rumination: do people actually want to read this stuff?

I get what it is I derive from writing. It allows me to express myself. It allows me to, or so my therapist tells me, 'connect' with the outside world in a new way. It allows me to better understand that different though we all might be, we share many, many life experiences in common.

But what is it that you, my readers, get from reading stuff? I can't answer that. What I can say is that I am glad that you take the time to read what it is that I write, perky or not. God that sounds so self centered. I don't mean that in the 'what I have to say is so important people should read and heed my every jot and tittle'. Trust me, I may be one opinionated dude, but I don't think I know everything there is to know and that my way of thinking or my beliefs have any validity other than to me.

I mean to say, 'Thank you'. If you take the time to read, "Buck Up, Princess', I hope you derive some pleasure from having done so. I hope reading it encourages you to think about experiences in your life which we all share. I hope the blog makes you ponder these shared experiences and helps you realize that you aren't alone. As dopey as this sounds, we really are all in this life together.

Not that I think you should care or anything, but I really am a happier man than I have historically been. I really do like my gray hair. I really am able to appreciate life in ways I'd never have though possible a decade ago. At the moment, my life sucks, and I am sure this is evident in my writings. I also know that life will get good again.

I hope you find, "Buck Up, Princess" authentic, during the perky and the not so perky times. And I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy sitting down and writing it. And, while not always agreeing with what I say or how I think, I hope you find it worth the time it takes to read it. If you want to share your reasons for reading my blog, please do. If you want to ping on me about something I say or something you think I shouldn't have said, please do. Life is better when you share it with others. And, "Buck Up, Princess' is one way to do this.

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.