BABY COME HOME TO ME....

How often is it that you hear a song or see a movie that evokes experiences memories of your real life?  I don't know about you, but to me it happens all the time.

It happened to me the other night when I was watching, "The Graham Norton Show."  This episode featured, "The Scissor Sisters."  Not having been a big fan, I didn't expect to enjoy seeing them perform on the show.  Yet, from the minute the song started I got a big smile on my face.  The song, "Baby Come to Me."  Why?Well, it brought back all of those times while I lay in bed waiting for Sam (my now former young man) to come home from carousing with his friends or co-workers. You'd think those would be unhappy memories, but not really. Because as the song says, "...it don't matter 'cause I know that you love me."

Let me make one thing clear, very paternal, I am a worrier by nature.  It is a trait I seem to have adopted from my Mom.  Not always a good one, I admit...but still, there is it.  Sam and I used to argue about this all time.  He'd be out socializing with his friends, while I'd be at home, lying in bed not able to sleep, worrying that he was lying dead in a ditch some place. Silly, true, but real too. 

I wasn't a hip, young, dude, even when I was a hip, young, dude.  I don't enjoy clubbing.  I never have and likely never will.  I've never understood why the gay social hour doesn't even start until 2300.  It didn't make sense to me when I was young and it makes even less sense to me now. Having been in the Navy for over 30 years, I've spent more than my share of long nights awake (working), so the idea of staying up until 0300 for 'fun' just isn't fun for me. Not when there is a warm, comfortable bed waiting for me.

Logically, I knew that Sam was out having fun with his friends, dancing, drinking, listening to jazz, whatever.  Still like other guys, I'd still have those occasional 'old dude home in bed, while his young buck is out partying' insecurities.  Then, I'd hear those cabinet doors slamming down in the kitchen or the clomping on the stairs as he climbed the stairway leading up to my bedroom and I'd be filled with relief.  Relief and happiness.  See, unlike in previous relationships, I knew that whatever he might be out doing, even if it was something about which I might not approve, he would still be coming home to me.

A smart man has confidence that he is loved, even if acting a tad insecure now and then.  He shouldn't expect a lad young enough to be his son to stay home every Saturday night and be in bed by 2300.  Nor, honestly, should he try to party like he did in 1999 when he himself was a young buck, if that isn't his inclination. All that does is create frustration and cause tension in a relationship.

I've seen too many May/December relationships where one or the other partner is 'required' to do things he might not be inclined to do.  The old dude, tries to keep up with the young one, because he is too insecure and worried up to what his lad might be.  Or, the younger dude expects the old dude to party all the time.
Of course, these sorts of things are what compromise in a relationship is all about.  But there is a difference between compromising and giving up completely your needs to try and satisfy the insecurities of your partner. In every relationship, both parties need to have at least a few of their own interests and a few of their own friendships. 

So, while it might not make any sense, thinking of those times makes me smile. Sure, at the time I was perhaps grumpy and stressed and might have let that show, but I was always glad to see him, any time, any place. Isn't that how it is supposed to be?  Seems like it to me.

God willing, I'll get to lay in bed, wishing my baby would come home to me again sometime in the future. Not likely, granted.  But there is always hope, right?

At least that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

Published on May 25, 2012 by pkrips0791

Scissor Sisters performing Baby Come Home from their forthcoming album 'Magic Hour' live on The Graham Norton Show 25th May 2012.