Really? I beg to differ. Not to ruin my butch, military officer, daddy-like persona, but nobody enjoys a good appletini more than do I. I was introduced to them after a change of command ceremony by the wife of one of my shipmates. While normally I am a beer guy, sometimes a girlie drink just satisfies. I mean, come on. Admit it. Sometimes one of those drinks with the little umbrellas just hits the spot. So just why is it okay, therefore, for, 'Men's Health' to tell me I am lacking in masculinity, because sometimes I enjoy a Cosmopolitan rather than a Fat Tire?
I hate it when others decide to define what is 'man-like' and what is not. Like sexuality, masculinity follows a spectrum. Perhaps some of us are on the 'butcher' end of the spectrum and perhaps others are on the 'nellier' end of the spectrum. But, if we are male, we are by definition masculine.
I've written before about how much I hate stereotypes. Yes, communities like ours tend to branded with them and to use them against ourselves. I mean, how many of us are guilty of thinking that all lesbians are fat, hairy, man-hating, male wannabes, who have hairy legs and only wear flannel? Well, okay, that stereotype is probably a little more accurate than others, but you get what I mean (lesbians...you KNOW how they are. Ew, gross...I mean, for heaven's sake, why would anyone...ooops, sorry, I digress). It is a sign of insecurity and lack of maturity to perpetuate a stereotype. It is a sign of something worse to use these stereotypes against others, especially others of our own kind, in order to shame them.
These days there is a lot of talk in the media about bullying. What is one of the primary reasons young LGBT teens get bullied? It is the perception they act in a stereotypical way (either girlie for young boys or butch for young girls). So, if it is bullying for young straight boys, insecure in their manhood, to bully other young boys they perceive as 'fags,' how much worse it is when we do this to our own kind? Talk about self-loathing or internalized homophobia.
At one point, Sam (my former young man) commented to me that he was surprised I found him appealing because he wasn't very 'masculine'. I took umbrage immediately. Sure, Sam is a lot 'softer' than am I, being a more politically correct, hip, young gayboi, and perhaps a bit further towards the less butch end of the spectrum than am I, but he is definitely all male, and therefore masculine. He works out like a fiend. He enjoys a range of other, 'masculine' activities. Bathing is not a priority for him. He doesn't care that much how he dresses. Sometimes he may act a tad nelly (just a tad, I admit) but he is all boy, trust me. And, who amongst us doesn't have a flame that sometimes shines brighter than others?
We demean and diminish ourselves when we buy into the stereotype foisted upon the media. It is a sign of strength and maturity when we do not do so. Sure, like others, I have my own issues and my own insecurities, as do we all. But one thing I am not insecure about is my masculinity. I believe we all should be, no matter at what end of spectrum it is at which we might find ourselves.
At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
Uploaded by LuisEduardoGalindo
on Sep 14, 2009
Dedicated to the most perfect cocktail.... THE MARTINI.
This song is inspired in the music of TOM JOBIM and LES BAXTER , and a tender tribute to my soul hero RICHARD WRIGHT . Most of the arrangements were recorded using propellerhead software to put down sounds as MELLOTRONS, MELLOTRON 8 VOICE CHOIR, MINIMOOG AND ACOUSTIC GUITARS.
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