Author's note: sometimes
it is good to go back and revisit previous writings to see if they still
hold up and to see if, given perspective (and wider readership), new
questions or comments will arise from readers. Over the next couple of
weeks I'll be re-running some pieces from the early days of my blog, in
addition to some new pieces, so some long term readers may have already
read the re-runs. Whether or not you've done so, I encourage you to
comment on either the new or old pieces.
POINT: NOTE TO HUNTERS #2: NOT ALL DADDIES ARE THE SAME (TASTES, INTERESTS, NEEDS, DESIRES)
Gay culture, not unlike other cultures, is often perceived to be all about stereotypes. This is never truer than in any of the 'named' cultures (Bear, Leather, S&M, etc.). The ‘Daddy/Hunter’ community is no different. As a Daddy who spends a lot of time, much too much time, I have to admit, online chatting, I get frustrated when I hear perfectly attractive and high quality Hunters bemoaning the fact they can’t find a Daddy to date because they aren’t…insert stereotypical ‘boy’ requirement here: young, slender, smooth, tall, athletic, etc. Really, boys and girls, Daddies don't all expect, require, or desire the same things. All you need to do is spend 5 minutes perusing the Daddy profiles online, preferably on Daddyhunt, of course, but online on any Daddy/Hunter site will do, to see that, just like Daddies exist in all different shapes and sizes, Daddies have every different kind of taste and interest imaginable. You can find profiles of Daddies looking for girlie boys, masculine boys, tall boys, short boys, hairy boys, smooth boys, smart boys, shy boys, rough boys, boys of color, and on and on and on. Sure, lots of Daddies seem to prefer only younger, smoother, etc., but not all. Not every Daddy lives up to the presumed stereotype. Not all Daddies spend their entire lives chronically in search of some 'perfect' boy who meets some idealized, unrealistic standard. Okay, I admit, Daddies do tend to prefer that the Hunters they desire find older guys appealing, but then, who of us doesn’t want to be thought of as sexy? I know THIS DADDY certainly does. Not all Daddies have some unreasonable expectation that any boy they pursue be both perfect and static (i.e. always looking young and hot, etc.). Okay, stereotypes exist for a reason. Sometimes, maybe more than sometimes, people live up to one stereotype or another. Most people don’t. The trick is finding a way for the ‘right’ Daddy to meet the ‘right’ Hunter. That is the beauty of online communities like Daddyhunt. Such venues are safe places where we can share information about who we are, what we seek, and what it is we have to offer, affording us unique opportunities to form connections with those with whom we have complimentary interests. So, buck up, boys and girls, it has worked for me, it can work for you. I promise.
At least that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
(Written for and submitted for publication by www.daddyhunt.com. Publication pending. http://www.daddyhunt.com/blog)
The Hollies - Have you ever loved somebody
Uploaded by rebecca241290 on Jul 27, 2008
COUNTER POINT: NOTE TO DADDIES #2: NOT ALL HUNTERS ARE THE SAME (TASTES, INTERESTS, NEEDS, DESIRES).
As THIS DADDY has said before, gay culture, not unlike others, is often all about stereotypes. The ‘Daddy/Hunter’ community is certainly no different. Ironically, just as Daddies are often tarred with the notion that they are only interested in dating Twinks, Hunters are often tarred with the notion that they are only interested in dating Daddies who look like Tom Selleck, drive BMW’s, live in lofts, have the financial resources to jet a Hunter to Manhattan on a whim to shop for Prada. This is a load of bunkum. Just as Daddies have a multitude of tastes and desires, so do Hunters. I don’t know about you, boys and girls, but many times I’ve been online chatting, and have seen some Daddy saying some self-deprecating, negatives things about himself. Things like, ‘oh, at my age, my dating life is over’, ‘oh, I am not rich enough or successful enough to find a Hunter’, ‘Oh, I am HIV positive, nobody decent will ever want to date me again.’ As much as I hate to admit it, THIS DADDY himself has been guilty of this kind of negative self-talk. It is easy to fall into this trap. But it is a trap, my fellow Daddies, a deep, dark trap into which you must not allow yourself to fall. I was single for over 3 years after a very serious 10 year relationship, which ended very badly, before I found myself in a new relationship. Having given up on the idea of ever having a serious relationship again, I met a nice young man on Daddyhunt (wow, who’d a thunk it?) Neither of us expected anything serious to come of it, but, as these things sometimes happen, something serious did. If it could happen to me, it could certainly happen to you. Sending out a message that reeks of desperation, or having a piss-poor, negative attitude about yourself, those are things likely to prevent you from being successful at dating. Realizing what it is you have to offer, being confident in who you are, those are things that are likely to help you a quality Hunter with whom you can share your life. At least that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
The Hollies - A Taste Of Honey
Uploaded by KeatonsAnnex on Mar 12, 2008
"In Concert" 1969.
No comments:
Post a Comment