How Can You Tell the Bear Community from the Lesbian Community?

Sounds like the start of an old joke, doesn't it? You know, "A Bear and a Lesbian walk into a bar..." It isn't. Sometimes, to be blunt, I am not not sure I can tell the difference the Bear and Lesbian Communities. Can you?

Both are communities full of folks who feel marginalized by mainstream culture. The Lesbian Community rails against the patriarchy and the unrealistic stereotypes of female beauty foisted upon women by society. The Bear Community rails against the stereotype of the hip, young gay boy who is skinny, smooth, pretty, and shallow.

Each proclaims to be 'healthier' and less shallow than the mainstream, yet woe-be-tide anyone who doesn't fall in line with the accepted dogma or orthodoxy.

Both give credence to style over substance, it is okay to be a Nelly bear or a femme lesbian, as long as one wears the required cowboy/combat/construction boots; denim; flannel; etc.

Both focus on looks or behaviors that often thought to be hyper-masculine, or appear to those 'outside' to be a caricature of masculinity.

Both insist they celebrate their member's uniqueness and espouse an appreciation for individuality, and acceptance, while at the same time requiring a 'uniform' or look of sorts.

Both claim to be inclusive, but aren't. If one doesn't live up to certain preconceived notions (such as Bear must only like Bear or big is beautiful), accept a fellowship of thought or action, one is considered a heretic and therefore ostracized.

Both, in an effort to be a 'welcoming', safe place, for those marginalized by 'regular' society, marginalize others in ways just as hurtful and extreme.

Both are overly sensitive to any criticism or questioning of their beliefs or behaviors.

In both the Bear and Lesbian Communities, unlike in 'regular' gay culture, it is a badge of honor to have a partner who represents the opposite of what is considered, 'beautiful' in the mainstream.

I know that it is human quality to seek to be 'unique.' I know that humans feel better by being with 'like', and excluding the 'unlike.' But wouldn't we all be happier if we all did a better job of living and let live?

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

Uploaded by kimpossible6 on May 23, 2007

Uploaded by JGayBear on Jul 19, 2010

Top 5 Reasons To Love Gay Bears.

• Artist: Blue Horns