From DMH, my first love: I learned to love, 'Car Talk' and other NPR programing. I also learned that a bowl of ice cream is best eaten covered in milk. Try it, you'll see. I still use the same brand of face soap (Neutrogena) every day that I first used in his shower. I wouldn't use anything else.
From DG, my first 'bromance', trust me, the guy couldn't be any straighter than if he tried. I knew it from the minute we met, didn't matter in the least. I liked him, he liked me, my gayness, his straightness, not a big deal: Our friendship uncovered in me an appreciation for sports and a desire to be someones 'big brother.' I still sometimes refer to him as my 'little brother' and he refers to me when talking to his children as, 'Uncle.'
From MF, a long-time military buddy who, like DG is totally straight, but who had a major impact on my life: He taught me, after years of not believing it possible, that I love a good beer and a good baseball game.
From MRN, my first obsessive love (we all have one or two of those, admit it, you have had at least one yourself, gentle reader): I formed an interest in being 'green' and found I liked wearing Birkenstocks. Okay, so the Birkenstock thing didn't last that long, but still...as dorky as they may look, they are quite comfortable, now aren't they?
From DSL, my first re-bound love: I acquired an appreciation for masculinity outside what is considered, the norm; a taste for Mormon boys; and, a mild addiction to doing crossword puzzles. I also learned that, as the old saying goes, 'Ex sex is the best sex.'
From CSH, my first, 'apprentice' (he was using me to practice on, before moving on to someone younger and better looking) love: From Craig I learned that innocence is sexy; that nerd boys can also be total horndogs; and, that sometimes not being able to get it up is okay.
From PFH (or as I think of him - Bad Paul), my first not-real love, no matter how hard it was we tried to convince ourselves it was: I learned to never, EVER date someone who lies. With him I developed an appreciation for rimming (both giving and receiving, but most especially giving...).
From PFG (or as I think of him - Badder Paul, the one who dumped me after 10 years for the fat, grey-haired, borderline simple, nelly skeez he'd been shtupping while I was away at the War), who lives 80 feet away where I do in the little house next to the big lake which I share with my spoiled, and completely insane border collie: Our time together generated for me a love for a good hardware store, an appreciate of cars which are less than 12 feet long or are powered by motors of less that 1200 ccs, and confirmed that a man who can cook (and enjoys doing it) is a prize. I also learned that dating a virgin is always, ALWAYS a terrible idea and that even a man of high morals and values cheats.
From BD, my first long term, semi-regular F*buddy: I realized as never before that I love being called 'daddy' during certain of the most intimate acts involving two consenting male adults. I also learned that sometimes you can be intimate with someone (you can share secrets, support each other, talk about your lives, make an impact), even if you only fuck them once every few months or even every couple of years and that satisfaction can be earned from such an arrangement.
From SKA, my second long term, semi-regular F*buddy: I uncovered the fact that you really can just lay back and let someone else to 'all the work'; than you can have 'intimate', totally satisfying, mind-blowing sex, that lasts, and lasts, and lasts, and yet doesn't involve f*cking, with a near total stranger.
From SCG, my late-in-life love: Well, from him, I am still learning. We may not be together anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't ponder, value, and appreciate the time that we spent together. Sam taught me that, while attraction and sex are important (and boy was the sex good) and required in a romantic relationship, being 'gotten' by the person you love is what is most important. Being with him made me want to be a better 'me' than I thought I could be. That 'me' may not be anything special, I mean, being a better 'me' didn't make me a saint or anything, but learning that someone shouldn't love you 'in spite' of who you are (as had DMH and PFG) but rather for who you are is what works best and makes for a healthier relationship.
In ways romantic, unromantic, brotherly, paternal, obsessive, or even needy, each of the fellows above I have loved and still do love in one way or another. Some I'll never see again. Some will be glad of that fact, I am sure. Still, I love them for the impacts, both good and not so good, they had upon me and I believe that these impacts make me a better person.
At least, that is what This Daddy thinks.
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