As you all know, if you read this blog with any frequency, I am currently undergoing some turmoil with the lad I have loved. While we are no longer a couple, and he has found someone new, we are struggling to define what is our new relationship and how we fit into the lives of the other. During our heart wrenching conversations, we've talked about a range of topics, a big one being forgiveness. the Forgiveness Factor posts represent how I feel about forgiveness, in the context of our relationship.
While it hasn't been sought, the topic of whether or not I can be forgiving of any hurt I may be experiencing has been front and center in our discussions. I don't think he needs my forgiveness. If
he loved me (or still does, in one way or another), and he was sincere in that love, no matter how it
played out or other issues that revolved around it, it is the love that is important, not the havoc.
We all make mistakes and we all act in ways that meaning to or not hurt others.
It is human. If he wants my forgiveness, he can have it. It is freely offered and
freely given. In Christianity, and in most other major religions, in one form or another, one
of the major tenets is 'treat others as you treat yourself.' I know if he'd
been hurt by something I said or did, no matter how I intended it, I would want his understanding and his forgiveness. So, I am trying to treat him as I would like to be
treated myself. I need to stop being so
judgmental and self-righteousness. I also need to learn not be so 'blaming' and
so obsessive about past injuries. It isn't healthy for me and I just don't have
the strength. I don't want to lose his respect, and if being forgiving (or
feeling like forgiveness isn't required) causes him to lose respect for me,
makes me seem like a wimp, or a desperado, well that is his issue to deal with,
not mine.
At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
Carina Round, "Pick Up The Phone"
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