For those of you who are either too young, or too old, to get the reference, to quote Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27m_Too_Sexy),"I'm Too Sexy" is a song by English trio Right Said Fred from their album Up. The single topped the American charts for three weeks in early 1992, after having peaked at number two in Britain less than six months earlier." Trust me, you had to be there. It is one of the novelty song that seem to catch on, despite being so insipid as to make the casual listener swoon.
Anyway, back in the day, when I was a young buck, older friends assured me that one's (sex) life ended neither at 30, nor at 40, nor even at 50 and beyond. Like the callow, young gay fellow I was, I didn't believe them. I'll bet some of you don't believe them either. Well, buckaroos, they were right, I was wrong. And so are you.
Who'd have thought that at my ever advancing age (I am soon to be 49), I'd be made to feel like 'sex object'? Not me, that is for sure. As I've stated before, I am not my type and any sex appeal I might have has always alluded me. Yet, the proof is, as they say, 'in the pudding'. First piece of 'evidence', the handsome, younger man with whom I shared the last two and a half years, before he moved Back East for graduate school. He still, so he says, finds me as sexy as he did upon our first meeting, back in December, 2008. Second, there is the barrage of emails I've received from old 'fuck buddies' who, knowing I am once again, 'back on the market', are lining up to spend quality naked time with me. Third, there are the myriad 'hits' that I get when I log onto various gay dating phone apps (Grindr, Growlr, Scruff) on my Evo. Okay tops are, so I am told, always in short supply. So, having always been a total top, that gives me a little bit of an advantage. But still, what accounts for my current 'popularity'? To be honest, I don't have a clue.
Gay culture would have us all believe that if one isn't under 30 or one doesn't look like a male model, one isn't allowed to have a sex life, and certainly not with anybody even vaguely attractive. At this age, apparently, we are supposed to sit at home, pet the cat, and watch old episodes of, "Sex and the City." Sorry, that isn't for me, and I assume most of you would hope that fate isn't for you either.
It is ironic too that being offered so much casual sex, I am not really all that interested. You may not believe it but I turn down more opportunities than you can possibly imagine. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love sex. I always have, and I hopefully always will. But, at my age, the whole 'hook up' culture has lost much of its appeal. Sure, there are guys with whom I've been 'buddies' in the past, who if they call me up or email me (as some have been doing), I'll jump at the opportunity (hint, hint, you KNOW who you are) for us to do the hokey pokey again. But finding 'new' buddies, or just doing random hook ups, not so much.
Maybe I am spoiled. After being in a solid, high quality relationship, perhaps my standards have risen, or perhaps my needs have just changed. My last relationship was an open relationship (supposedly) but both of us rarely exercised the option. True, it happened a bit at the very beginning, we weren't supposed to be serious about each other, after all. But as time progressed, even though the option remained available, there didn't seem to be much need. By the time our relationship ended, I'd only been with one other guy in well over a year and a half, the one guy being one of those special few about which I wrote above, on whom I'll always jump if and when given the opportunity (again, hint, hint, you KNOW who you are). He hadn't been with anybody else in nearly 2 years. I guess you could say, we were both getting more than enough at home, so that we didn't see the need to stray.
Perhaps my attitude will change as time passes. I get lonely like anybody else. It has, of course, only been a few weeks since my young man moved away. But, I am not so sure. Okay, part of it is pure nervousness. I just don't feel that comfortable having strange guys I've never seen before show up at the little house by the big lake. The same is true when I travel. Back in the day I wouldn't have thought twice about going to someone's hotel room, or having them come to mine. These days, not so much. Part of it too has do with the prevalence of HIV and STD's. I've managed to stay HIV negative and essentially STD free (I have gotten 'critters' a time or two and once, several years ago, got something that back in the day required a shot in the heiny, but other than those, which happened long ago, nada) for over a 1/4 of a century. Why push my luck?
As I age, I find that sex just happens to be better with someone you know and about whom you care. Or at least with someone you like. I am not saying you have to be 'in love' with someone to have sex with them, I am a guy, after all; and, while it is no longer true, I was quite the horn dog. But I am saying that the comfort and ease that comes from with being intimate with someone you love, or have been with before and like, is far more enjoyable than the pleasure derived from the excitement of a hook up or meeting some hot guy in a bar and taking him home. Be honest, how often have you done this and been disappointed? How many times have you hooked up with someone only to find he smells, or is bad in bed, or has ugly feet, or whatever else turns you off? Unless you are just starting out, I'll bet that sort of thing has happened way more than you like to admit.
Am I telling you how to act, no. That isn't my 'job'. I am just some old dude that likes to write and gets a kick out of it if someone reads my stuff occasionally. If the hook up thing is your bag, more power to you. I am always very sex positive. I believe you should do whatever you like, with whomever you like, unless it involves children, animals, or someone unwilling. I am saying, though, for me, it is different being single this time. I am more anxious to enjoy quality sex, than quantity of sex.
At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
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