As you, my regular readers may know, I am newly single after a rather wonderful relationship with a much younger man named Sam. I turn 49 in a few weeks, he turned 27 last Spring. This relationship was, without a doubt, the most loving, enjoyable, and healthiest relationship I've ever experienced. Now that it is over, sadly, I am back in the social/dating scene, this after 2.5 years away from it. Well, unfortunately, unlike wine, things have not gotten better with age. Oh, don't get me wrong, the boys are still hot, and there are still lots and lots of them who want to spread their legs for me, but the dating experience still sucks ass (and not in the good way).
I have never been the most 'social' of men. Oddly, for an actor, I am awkward in public settings like at a bar or at a party. On stage or on camera, I am the bee's knees. In person, I am awkward and shy. So, naturally, these social milieu (bars, parties, church, etc.) have not been my primary options to meet men for romantic or other reasons (like hooking up). I've generally used social media (back in the old days, personal ads, later BBS's or IRC Chat, and now, Daddyhunt, Silverdaddies, and some of those phone apps designed for such social connections). These have worked pretty well for me. I met my longest term 'ex' (the one who lives 80 feet away with the fat, nelly, skeez he cheated on me with when I was away at the war) I met through an ad in the local alternative newspaper. Sam, my most recent love, I met on Daddyhunt. As you've likely read in my previous writing, we met solely with the intention of being 'hookup buddies'. It just turned out to be more. A great deal more, for which I'll always be glad.
Anyway, I had forgotten during my time away, just how vicious and cutting online dating can be.
Below is a list of comments I've received on the various venues on which I've posted profiles or personal ads specifying that I seek to meet younger men with whom to go on social dates:
"In reality you are just an old man looking for a young dude to fuck", hooperkeelan@yahoo.com
"Is that your real head of hair or hair club for men?", blakenewhere@gmail.com
"Ew. You're fugly. (and old)", xfreetradex@yahoo.com
I could go on and on, but you get the point. Between flames like this; the often asked question, 'are you generous'; and, the 'dates' that are supposed to be social but end up with, "...well, if you ever want a blow job, let me know." It is enough to give a guy a complex.
Yes, to many I am an 'old man', though compared to back in my day when 30 meant death, 50 really does seem the new 30, as they say. And yes, I most certainly like to fuck younger dudes. Who doesn't? Is there something wrong with that, I mean, as long as they are of an appropriate age, of course, and as long as they are just as interested in me doing so. I don't judge what other consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms, why do others? Yes, I do have a full head of curly dark (though mostly gray at this point) hair. It is, like it or not, all my own. Every single curly, dark, graying strand of it. And yes, I am (to some, but then aren't we all) 'fugly and old'. But, isn't that all a matter of taste? Get over it. Don't those guys who take the time to write such unpleasant things to total strangers have better things to do? I know I certainly do.
I don't know about you, gentle reader, but I have a very full and busy life. I have an ancient house that is always in need of repair; a crazy dog that always needs some attention; multiple jobs; etc. I just don't understand how folks like this have the time, let alone the predisposition, to be so nasty to someone they don't know. When I am writing a profile, or placing a person ad, I work very hard to be very clear about what I seek. I tailor the titles of the ads to attract the attention of only those folks with complimentary interests.
As to being 'generous', sorry. I am not. While I certainly see nothing wrong with exchanging money for sex, I wouldn't do it, but if that is how someone who chooses to make a living, fine. If there are guys out there who wish to pay for that service, even finer. I am a really, 'live and let live' kind of guy. But doesn't it seem a tad presumptuous to assume because I am an older guy, I must therefore be more than happy to open my wallet so that some young guy will then open his legs or his mouth?
I see nothing wrong with arranging to give a stranger a blow job. Not really my thing (well, I am a top, of course; but I mean, casual, meet online sex of some sort, not necessarily one particular type of, sex act or another), but for heaven sake, if that is what you want to do, say that. Don't dick around and act like you want to meet for 'coffee' to explore being friends or as a sort of a 'date' when all you want is to get on your knees and suck my wang. It is demeaning that you'd waste both my time and yours. Be direct. Isn't it more efficient to ask for what you seek up front? Aren't you more likely to get the desired end result if you deal with folks seeking the same?
Sigh. I don't know if it is an age thing, or quality of life thing, or what. But, I am really sensitive about the wastage of time these days. I try not to waste mine. Or if I do, it is because I decide to do so, which is my choice. Like taking a nap on a perfectly good sunny summer day. Here in Seattle, such days are precious and few. But, it is my time to waste, after all. If I want to nap when I should be at the beach or the park, so be it.
Life is too short. It should be savored and full of joy and happiness. It needn't be about negativity and meanness. I prefer to date younger guys. You don't like it, tough. Don't date me. Some younger guys seem to prefer dating older guys. Again, you don't like it, tough. It's their lives, not yours. This judging of people for silly reasons like this is not, I think, what we should be focusing our time upon. Look, don't get me wrong, I do a bit of judging myself. That doesn't make it okay. I also work really hard to try and not be as judgmental and self-righteous as might be my nature (if you'd grown up with a Mom like mine, you'd have a hard time with this too). Nobody is perfect and most folks, I am convinced, have a sense of their own 'issues'. Any such issues are theirs to work through, not yours about which to make judgment. To those haters out there, get a life.
At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
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