The Daily Daddy: Myth or Reality?

Myth. A website I frequent, and the one on which I met the boy I love (well, I am not supposed to love him any more since he moved away and we broke up, but still...), has a regular feature call, 'The Daily Daddy'. The website is called, "Daddyhunt" (www.daddyhunt.com). It is a site devoted to the acceptance and encouragement of intergenerational dating.

I've got to say, I am disappointment with Daddyhunt (DH) at the moment. What is it with, 'Daily Daddies'? I thought DH’s mission was (as stated in their ‘About Daddyhunt’ FAQ), “to celebrate older gay men and to create a healthy alternative to meat-market websites.” And “The men on Daddyhunt differ in age, races, body type and nationality but they all share one thing: mutual respect, acceptance and tolerance.” Yet, the images presented in the ‘Daily Daddy’ tend to be tall, slender and smooth, or at least groomed to within an inch of their lives. Or if they vary from that mold, they are buff bearish guys, with toned, albeit thick bodies. like something out of a Tom of Finland comic. Also, almost to a one they are: white. Isn’t this enforcing skewed stereotype, of how a Daddy should look? We should be white, manscapted, and movie star handsome? Isn’t this just the other side of the coin of those images found in the media which tell younger gay guys how they should look? You hunters are all supposed to look like A & F models, and we Daddies are all supposed to look like Harrison Ford. Thomas Jane at 42; ’; Michael Fassbender, at 34; Jason Issacs at 47; the guys are ‘Daddies, really? These guys represent to what look I should aspire, really? How is this 'celebrating' older men?

One of the advantages of being ‘older’ is that, ideally, we’ve learned to value the gray hair and the wrinkles we’ve earned as they reflect the interesting and varied experiences we’ve had in our long lives. At our age we’ve become comfortable in our skins, haven’t we? If the images on a website devoted to ‘glorifying’ the attractiveness of older guys only presents images of older men that are unrealistic for the vast majority of ‘Daddies’ to achieve, doesn’t that set a standard which is impossible for ‘real’ daddies to meet? Isn’t that undermining the website’s goal? Daddies are, in general, older. Older guys, Daddies or not, tend towards baldness. We have thickening waists, flabby asses, flat feet, and hair in (what society dictates as ‘inappropriate’ places. What is wrong with that?

As hard as it might be for some of our non daddy-loving contemporaries to believe, we all age at some point. And, just as hard as it might be for them to believe, there are guys who find ‘real-looking’ Daddies sexy. Perhaps not many, sure. Am I saying we all shouldn’t try to look our best? No. Am I suggesting the people ‘change’ to what type of guy they should be attracted? No. But I am saying that when ‘Daddies’ start being expected to look too much the way hunter’s aspire to look, that sets an unreasonable standard and marginalizes too many older guys. It set’s unrealistic expectations, and sets everybody, Daddy or Hunter disappointed. I mean, how many 28 year old guys have a body like that of Daniel Craig, or Thomas Jane? Not that many, right? So how realistic is it that a 48 year old is going to look like that? Not very. How is that supporting the idea that older can be sexy? It isn't.

At least that is what THIS Daddy thinks.