For those of you who are homos of a certain 'vintage', the title above is taken from a song entitled, "I'm Still Here", from, "Follies", a musical with music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim and a book by James Goldman. The story of the musical takes place during a reunion of former chorus girls (and their paramours) in a condemned theater, the night before it is torn down. Each of the attendees is, in their own way, looking back on their lives and evaluating where they are, how they got there, and whether or not they would or should have done things differently.
Anyway, the song itself refers to the experience one goes through as one ages. It, the song, popped into my head, especially the line which reads, "...Then you're camp." the other day when I had what seems to be an all to common experience I am having lately when chatting on line.
Wikipedia defines the word camp as, "...an aesthetic sensibility that regards something as appealing or humorous because of its deliberate ridiculousness." My dating life these days is nothing if not a, 'deliberate ridiculousness.'
I don't know what is the experience of other self and publically described 'daddies', but lately too many of the guys who express interest, especially on an Android app called, "GRINDR", after a few exchanges, suddenly start asking if I am 'generous' or if I like to 'spoil' the boys I date. I just don't see myself as someone who has to 'spoil' a boy or be 'generous' just to get laid. As I said in a recent posting, "As to being 'generous', sorry. I am not. While I certainly see nothing wrong with exchanging money for sex, I wouldn't do it, but if that is how someone who chooses to make a living, fine. If there are guys out there who wish to pay for that service, even finer. I am a really, 'live and let live' kind of guy. But doesn't it seem a tad presumptuous to assume because I am an older guy, I must therefore be more than happy to open my wallet so that some young guy will then open his legs or his mouth?"
I am never sure how to take these requests. Should I be flattered? Insulted? Shocked? Or is it something that is normal for older guys to experience. I mean, do I look or seem like a guy who has to pay for sex? I hope not. I mean, for heavens sake, I am only 49. And, while I am not to everybody's taste, I am still considered attractive (I have beautiful eyes, good hair and skin, and my dick, so I am told, still makes an 'impact'.) I have a good job, a nice home, etc. It does make me wonder, though, have I reached the 'camp' stage of my life?
I get that as the 'older' guy in a relationship, I am likely to be more financially stable. This likely means, unlike in a 'regular' couple, when I am dating someone, I will likely pay for more than my share. You know, sort of like in the old days when the men were supposed to pay for dinner, hold out chairs, etc., it just seems 'natural', at least to a certain extent. But there is a difference between paying for things because I want to, as I would in any dating situation, and being expected to, or required to in order to get laid. I mean, I am not interested in subsisting on top romen or drinking PBR. When I travel, I am not interested in sleeping in a hostel on a bunk bed, in a room with five strangers. So, if I want to go out to eat or go on a trip with a guy with more limited resources, I'll have to open my wallet a little bit more than does he. But that is about me making sure I am comfortable, not about me paying to get some tail.
So, I don't know what to think. Are these boys who hit on me on GRINDR really serious when they ask if I am 'generous' or I want to spoil them? Are they really expecting me to buy them presents, or their school books, or pay their rent? And, if so, do other old dudes really pay for these things?
I get that for some guys (both daddies and boys), a little bit of this 'sugar daddy' interplay might add to the kink. I had a friend, for example, with whom many years ago when I lived in Hawaii, we sort of played around with this. He made it more than clear that he found me sexy and thought I was a great lay, but it was also sort of a turn on (for us both) that I'd pay to fly him to Honolulu or the Big Island so we could spend some quality naked time together. It was also completely clear, that this 'sugar-daddying' was just part of our play, neither expected nor required. Almost nearly as often as I'd fly him some place and pay for us to in a hotel, he'd invite me to the island on which he lived and we'd stay at his place, like any typical f*ck buddies.
But, to really 'spoil' someone or be 'generous', I don't think so.
At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.
Louis Prima - Just a gigolo
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