MY (BABY BLUE) MARINE

Back in the mid-70's, a terrible, really terrible movie was produced called, "Baby Blue Marine." It starred one of my childhood crushes, Jan Michael Vincent.  We all have them, those boys or men in the media who get us all hot and bothered, even before we are old enough to know about what it was we are becoming all hot and bothered.

Blond, blue-eyed, masculine, handsome, virile, stoic, built like a brick sh*thouse, yet shy and sweet (at least so were most of the characters he played), he was like some Viking or Marine come to life.  And, like all such youthful crushes, I dreamed that one day I'd find my own such strapping, young fellow. Well, as we all know, dreams don't come true, now do they?  

Really? Having always wanted to have my own, personal version of Jan MIchael Vincent, ideally a Marine, suddenly at the advanced age of 52, I seem to have one.  Well, sort of.  

As I've mentioned before, occasionally I place personal ads in various venues, just to sort of keep my hand in and make it clear that I've not given up on finding love again completely. And, as you've likely read in previous postings, these ads rarely if ever result in anything of substance. 

Anyway, one day into my SPAM mail box (often when I post a personal ad to a particular website, responses end up there), popped a message that looked a lot one of  'those' kind of messages. You know the kind I mean, if you have a profile on a website or an app, you get those, 'Hi, I am Iggy, I am American fighting man, currently deployed to Ghana, looking for love..." IM's.  I must not be the only fellow that gets them. At first, I thought, 'okay, this must be another one of those scam messages.' From someone with a less than common name, language slightly stilted, after the first read, I was just going to delete it.  Still...the telephone number was local and something about it sounded almost authentic:

Date:   Tuesday, November 4, 2014 4:37 PM

From:   Less than Common Name

To:       THIS DADDY

I like talking to people if you want to know more about me you can call me if you want to XXXXXXXXXX I mean I'll tell you what you want to know about me 

After thinking about it for a couple of days, I decided I didn't have anything to lose, so I decided to respond.  First, as one does these says, since I had been provided with a name, I googled it.  And, yes, there really was someone with that less than common name.  Next, I checked on a social networking site or two and sure enough, that less than common name belonged to a tall, handsome, young (30-ish), brave (two tours in a war zone), blond, blue-eyed United States Marine.  

So, admittedly feeling a bit silly, not having had much luck, and not with any real expectations, I responded to the email, providing my own phone number, suggesting that perhaps we should start exchanging txts. And, exchange texts we did.  That led to exchanging pictures, SKYPING, and finally meeting in person.  And in person, he was everything I thought he'd be and more.

Okay, before this all seems too perfect, let's take a breath.  As in really life nothing is ever perfect. Like in any new such connection, as the chatting goes on, the layers of the onion get peeled back. And, under each layer there was a surprise.  First, it turned out he is bi.  Not gay but willing to sleep with women, bi.  Second, not only was he bi, but actively dating a woman (though in a long-distance relationship).  Third, as if being bi wasn't enough, he'd never actually been with a guy before sleeping with me.  Fourth, just before the beginning of the new year, he was scheduled to deploy overseas for more than a year.  

Still, with all of that, we seemed drawn to each other.  And, we made the best of the short time we had before he was schedule to depart.  And what a special time it has been. 

When you are close to a Marine, usually a familial or spousal kind of relationship, it is tradition to refer to them as, 'My Marine.'  Well, in very short order, this particular Marine became 'mine.' Sexy beyond belief (I mean, his body is a work of art), he is also interesting, sweet, and affectionate. Boyish, yet completely manly, he appears to be a Marine's Marine.  A bit damaged, he suffers from PTSD, having lost friends (or as he calls them brothers) while in combat, he is strong and forward-looking. Marines are often thought of as, 'young, dumb, and full of cum.'  In my 35 years of service, few (if any) with whom I've served have really been like that.  Oh, they may be young and full of cum, which is all a part of their particular charm, but the Marines with whom I've served have been more renaissance man than ruffian. 

 

My Marine is no different.  Okay, he is a little rough around the edges:  he smokes; he snores; he has tattoos; he doesn't wash his hands after he pees; he has really ugly feet, which smell sometimes (remember, having been in combat, he is used to wearing the same socks for long periods); but, he is also: kind; thoughtful; interesting; cuddly; gentle; a good kisser; and he has a smile that makes me weak at the knees. 

  

Yes, yes, I know, what with him being bi, a virgin, etc., chances of anything serious or long-lasting happening between us are slim to none. Throw in the fact that he'll be overseas for more than a year, and between all of those things, this interaction has disaster written all over it.  And yet...

I am blessed to have shared the special time with him so far, and continue to blessed to have him in my heart as he deploys.  Who knows what will happen in the future.  I have no expectations.  I am just enjoying our interactions, each more than the next.

Stay safe, be good my Marine. Semper Fi!

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

NEW! Marines Hymn - (as you've never heard it before)

 jason reed

I Thought the Whole Being Gay and in the Military was Okay

Apparently not.  At least not according to one of my many 'admirers' on a website on which I have a profile from whom I received the following missive:

Dear Commander:

Although I support completely the right to expression, I do question this when it is used to exemplify self-interest and that which is in poor taste.

Your 'lifestyle' choice is fine; it is your decision, it does not harm either yourself or others (hopefully) but I do question whether it is appropriate to exemplify this through your professional (sic) standing. In one sense it is not dissimilar to a senior manager of say, Barclay's Bank or Shell Oil using his employer's name publicly to pursue his own personal interests: riding on another's back, so to speak - a somewhat perverse form of self-aggrandisement at the expense of his/her employer. In this case, the US Navy.

I personally take exception both as a former US Navy Line Officer but more so as a civil libertarian who sees little relevance in your self-exposure as a homosexual naval officer at the expense of the profession as a whole. I should think that having achieved the rank of commander you would have come to understand something of the nature of discretion and respect of one's office and what it represents in the public sense, and one's position in authority. These are qualities that one seeks to encourage in one's subordinates in the chain of command - or are they?

As a one-time 'sea lawyer' trained in Newport to advise both Command and personnel in matters of the UCMJ while afloat during the horrid Viet Nam exploit, I came to appreciate the necessity of maintaining a balanced and objective view of one's responsibilities in execution of my duties.

I am not particularly proud of having been party to the murder of countless thousands of people in an illegal and immoral military power play by our government madmen. Part of the execution of my duties however, was also to represent my uniform in a positive light, placing my own personal interests elsewhere. It was this understanding that resulted in the crew of my 497ft ship developing a trust and respect for me as a person and as an officer, far exceeding what any 'official' manual of conduct might try to impose. After all, actions do speak louder than words.

Such actions as you are presenting representing your own narrow view of 'right' I (respectfully, Sir) I suggest are both counter-productive and a distortion of the concept of freedom of expression.

Faithfully yours,

(He inserted his initials and former title here)

Below is my response:

I am sorry to have taken so long to respond to your missive. Things are crazy at the moment.

First, let me thank you for your service. I value and appreciate your patriotism, even if it was in support of an inappropriate war.

I do, though, take issue with some of your comments.

First, I think you should ask yourself if in your experience you really did learn the, " necessity of maintaining a balanced and objective view..." If you had read my profile (author's note:  in that profile I list a series of questions on topics that confuse me, guys who claim to be tops but then show pictures of their butts, for example) closely, you would have noticed that at no point did I state that my comments are anything other opinion, my opinion, to be exact. I make no insinuation that my 'right' is any more right than that of another. It seems odd that you assail me for my, "own narrow view of 'right'...", suggesting it is a, '...distortion of the concept of freedom of expression.' Isn't that an assault on my right to freedom of expression? You are being more than a tad hypocritical.

As to using a picture of myself in uniform ( Author's note:  like wearing a tuxedo, it is pretty hard to look bad in a set of chocker whites, aren't we supposed to show our best when on a dating site?), I am proud, very, of my service. I've worn the uniform for nearly 33 years. It is my opinion that you must harbor a deep sense of internalized homophobia if you believe that by openly declaring myself as, 'a homosexual naval officer...' it is, '...at the expense of the profession as a whole.' If this were Match.com or some other straight website, you'd not question my choice of profile picture. Perhaps it has escaped your notice that there are websites devoted to people seeking to date both gay and straight members of the military.

I have spent my entire adult life in service of protecting people's right of freedom of expression and other so-called American values. God willing, I will continue to do so.

Actions do speak louder than words. I respectfully submit that perhaps you should consider your actions in questioning my right of free expression by sharing my opinion in my profile and using a picture of myself in uniform. Part of leadership is leading by example. Of all of the comments I've received, other than yours and one other, the vast majority have been positive, including from some very young sailors, soldiers, Marines, airmen, and Coasties. It is those opinions I value. They are the future. You and I are the past. 

So, gentle readers, I seek your opinion.  Is it wrong to include a picture of myself in uniform in profile on a gay dating site?

Sigh, I thought this crap was over.  

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

 

Anchors Aweigh,  1944

Distributed by	Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Warner Home Video (DVD)
Release date(s)	July 14, 1945

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchors_Aweigh_%28film%29

Rude is As Rude Does

Another of my myriad diatribes on the topic of rudeness by people to others whom they do not know.

Below are messages I received in response to my profile on website I frequent:

From Lustysex (http://www.adam4adam.com/?p=Lustysex)
Sunday, January 15, 2012 12:53 PM
Why do you continue to project a negative image for the Navy. The Navy uniform is
sacred and professional.

From Lustysex (http://www.adam4adam.com/?p=Lustysex)
Sunday, December 25, 2011 12:13 PM
I doubt you're a Commander.

I believe these snarky comments are sent to me because I have the gall to be open about the fact, in my profile, that I am in the military.

I agree completely with Lusty that the uniform is both sacred and professional. I also agree that, especially with the recent repeal of DADT, it is a show of pride to state openly that one is in the military on a gay-oriented website.

What I disagree with is someone, especially someone who has likely never served, flaming someone else for a choice they've made about what to put or depict in one's profile on a public website.

I guess I am just too much of an officer and a gentleman to understand this kind of rudeness because, yes, I really am a Commander. Sigh.

At least this is what THIS DADDY thinks.

Come Out, Come Out, Where Ever You Are

Almost exactly 31 years ago I did something that has effected all aspects of my life...I took the following oath, "I, THIS DADDY, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God. I swear That I am fully aware and fully understand the conditions under which I am enlisting."

At the time I was a callow, very religious young man. I was also a total homo. I knew it as much back then as I do now. I'd never done anything about it, I was only 17, after all, and I was hoping against hope that I'd change. In my heart of hearts I knew I wouldn't, but still, young men are, as you know, quite idealistic. I knew at the time that being gay and being in the military were, in many ways, antithetical. I've often been asked about the dichotomy of swearing that oath, yet at the same time disobeying an order, i.e. being gay. For me it boils down to this: I come from a military family and service, gay or not, for me was never in doubt. I just never thought it would last for as long as it has.

In my time, I've been both on active duty and served as a reservist. I've traveled the world, spying on the godless commies. I've tracked terrorists in the Pacific Rim. I've served with coalition partners, always impressed with their patriotism and professionalism. I've met some amazing people and risen to a position of authority, of which that 17 year old could only have dreamed. Not in the grand scheme of things, am I any big deal, but lets just say that most of the folks with whom I interact when in uniform are required to salute me and call me, 'Sir'. And what daddy doesn't like that?

As of 1201 (0001, as we call it), 20 SEP 2011, one significant aspect of my service will change: I can serve openly as a gay man. It isn't like most of my friends haven't figured it out. I mean, while I am on the masculine end of the spectrum, I've never taken a date to a function. I've never been married and nobody has ever met any of my 'significant others'. And, at my age and length of service, it isn't like I've been trying very hard to hide it. What were they gonna do if they found out, make me retire? I was ready to do that anyway. Still, I have served my entire adult life. The thought of not doing so scares me a little. I don't know how not to serve. At one point, during a security clearance investigation, I was even outed. Talk about traumatic. For a while there, it seemed like my whole military career would collapse. Thankfully, for reasons too complicated to explain here, it didn't.

Still, every career must end at some point. And, like it or not, my time is nearing. A very wise man once told me, "Don't leave until they make you leave. Because once it is over, it is over." He didn't actually mean to wait until someone threw me out. Rather, he was just saying that I'd better be damned sure I was ready to leave and to leave only on my own terms. Now, that is the case.

How much longer will I stay in? Who knows? I am so senior, much of the fun has gone out of it. As much as I like and respect many of my comrades, man are those guys and gals rednecks. That "redneckedness" can be hard to take. Now, though, I no longer have to worry about someone finding out I like boys and narking on me. Not that there aren't other reasons I might leave the service, my weight, the fact that there are very few jobs available for someone at my rank. But at least this reason is no longer valid.

Will I make a big deal about coming out, like bringing a male date to an official function and such? No, probably not. That isn't in my nature. Am I proud of the military for finally doing the right thing, absolutely. It often takes a long time, but for all its faults, the military does tend to do the right thing in the end. I am just glad they are doing it on my watch.

My God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America!

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.