CURSED, I TELL YOU, I AM CURSED....

Is it me?  Or do the rest of you run into the biggest bunch of losers and freaks when trying to meet qualify folks to date?  

More to just keep my hand in, as I don't want to appear to have given up completely, I semi-regularly post personal ads on a well known 'classifieds' site.  I don't really know why I bother.

Below is a series of emails which I received from one of my respondents.  The name of the respondent (and some other minor details) has been changes to protect the innocent, or in this case, is it the idiot?

To make it a bit easier to read, I'll post it in reverse order, so you can see the rather bizarre turn the discussion took.  I'll start with the ad itself, then show the whole (and I do mean the whole) exchange. Please note:  I also (as I do always) current pictures of myself (and, to be honest, a recent photo of me in uniform to better catch the eyes of a casual personals reader).

Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)

I miss having a nice, younger man to love. I seek a guy who is man enough to call me, 'Baby' in public, and yet boy enough to call me, 'Daddy' in private.
I am bearish, stocky, and have green/hazel colored eyes, and thick salt and pepper hair. I am charming; funny, intense; loud, and exasperating. Rumpled and crusty on the outside, I am told I am mushy and sweet on the inside; paternal, loving, and, protective. I enjoy listening to baseball on the radio; BBC America, AMC, and FX; and hanging out with my crazy dog. I love a good beer (I regularly special order a Portuguese beer) and a good steak. I dislike the taste and smell of onions and peppers. Supportive of the legalization of pot, I am personally not '420-friendly' as I can't stand the smell of it.
 
Physically I find skinny; younger (usually mid-20's to 40 or so) guys with big hearts, big smiles, and nice feet, attractive. Emotionally I prefer someone experienced with relationships; relationship-oriented, affectionate, and passionate. Socially I appreciate guys with interests both alike and dissimilar to my own; who are open-minded; and love dogs. Personality-wise, I find smart, funny, goofy, and easy-going guys most appealing. Sexually, the guys I date tend to be very bottom-inclined.
If you think you might find someone like me appealing, and you are someone who has the qualities I describe above, please send a note telling me about yourself and we'll see if we might 'click'.

 ____________________________________________________________________________

Date: Sunday, December 7, 2014, 2:15 PM
Subject: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To:TD

I enjoyed reading your ** Post, If you are a well-endowed total top daddy, I am more than interested in
meeting you.

Compatibility is based upon personal characteristics, just how candid my next response therefore
depends on yours.

Best,

M***
_____________________________________________________________________________

Date: Monday, December 8, 2014, 10:15AM

Subject: RE: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To:  M***

M***, thank you for responding to my posting. I appreciate it.

I am, however, a bit confused by your comments. If you are asking whether I am really a, "well-endowed total top daddy," that answer is most assuredly, 'yes.' That said, isn't, "well-endowed" in the eye (or in this case the mouth or the ass) of the beholder? I am told the girth of my member makes quite an impact. Having never fucked myself, I can't really say. I can say that I was with my last boy for nearly three years. Even at the end, he still sometimes struggled to take me. Does that mean I am big, perhaps. Was I big for him, certainly.

As to you comment, "compatibility is based upon personal characteristics..." That is certainly true. That said,
often it is the combination of characteristics or interests you share and which you develop together which makes a relationship a success. Additionally, you may have a myriad things in common, but if there is no physical attraction, there can be no passion. And, what is the difference between a romantic love and a friendship love? The passion and physical intimacy. If compatibility were the only important quality in a successful relationship, I'd have been married to a woman long ago, as tall chicks (with many of whom I get along famously, who would have loved to be married to me) dig me.

TD


________________________________________________________________________________________

Date: Monday, December 8, 2014, 1:46 PM
Subject: Re: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To: TD
 
 I like your mind TD, and no doubt you possess the girth any b*tch  would love to experience, but you still have  yet to tell me your size. 
 
Example: I am 6x4 cut.
 
Believe me I am far from being superficial but  I know my limitations  and at this point in
my life, all I desire and have time for is the truth.
Girth is more important to me than length but length is necessary in order to achieve a critical mass of penetration and reverberation in the mind of the beholder. My ultimate point is simply that when
I let someone f**k me, I need to feel like I am fully getting f**ked.
I literally need to feel afterwards like I was just "f**ked by a train", put in my place, unable to walk
and happy to know your my man!
 
If I felt that content everyday, I would bend over backwards for you, shower you with
kisses and do anything I can to make you happy!
 
Look at it this way TD, I am a total bottom and in order to remain a total bottom I literally need to get fucked everyday. My "a**hole" is then no longer an "a*hole", is has in reality become a
"p**sy".
 
My perception of that 'p**sy' can only be sustained via consistent exploitation, and thereby in
return my chosen identity as a f**king sissy remains intact for you to affirm and reinforce if you so
desire. The more often you choose to f**k my p**sy and or feed me cum, the more dedicated I will remain your very own "c**k loving p**sy".
 
Having said all the above, and no doubt your probably thinking the worst of me and saying
to yourself, "what else does this guy think of besides just sex?". Well rest assured baby, I can think of many other more mundane things to do and accomplish besides being a cock craving cum slut, but like I said TD, I know my limitations...

Very few men also appreciate all the time it takes for a bottom to prepare himself, to remain hygienic and always ready for his man.
 
When in a relationship, I always douche and shower several times everyday so I am
therefore ready for any potential, or spontaneous sexual opportunity that may arise and to
guarantee maximum anal and oral hygiene, penetration and pleasure. Can you appreciate it?
I possess many captivating talents both in and out of the bedroom.
I'm a highly trained ************ and ********* practitioner who specializes in treating and maintaining male sexual health integrity. I'm also a fabulous cook, an excellent housekeeper and organizer!
 
I have also held several houseboy positions in the past all of them were dependent upon my
sexual servitude, which was consensual and both mutually rewarding for everyone involved to say the least.
I do have a very fun, spontaneous and accommodating personality. I always gravitate to more dominate men who prefer exploiting my more submissive feminine nature behind closed doors and in bed.
Speaking of tall chicks, I'm also very tall TD, and very much 'chic'. And yes, both men and women also find me alluring and attractive. I do have very refined (androgynous like) facial features. I was once a highly paid fashion runway model briefly in my youth in California.
 
Men have always wanted to f**k me my entire life. I s**ked off my first cock when I was only 14 and got f**ked by a much older man when I was barely 16. Rest assured, that too was very consensual. I am 46yo now, 6'3" tall, 170 lbs I have a very slender twinkish body. I'm not bald, no bags under my eyes, very few wrinkles on my face. Brown hair and eyes, moderate light leg hair and very little arm hair. I have shaved balls, cock, chest, face and
short trimmed pubic hair.
 
I do live a predominately active healthy natural and organic lifestyle.
 
I'm not a vegetarian I love to pack lots of meat in both my holes. :o)
In closing for now TD, if your once again inspired to respond back, I hope you will send me some cock pics and please feel free to tell me more about what turns you on sexually and what you would like to do to me, or me to you in private if I was  your real time boyfriend.
Best,
M***
________________________________________________________________________________

Date: Monday, December 8, 2014, 5:00 PM
Subject: Re: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To: M***

M***, thank you for your thoughtful response to my message.

I too am at a stage in my life where I only have time for the truth. So here is the truth: I am, alas, at a loss as to how exactly to respond.

You say, '... but you still have yet to tell me your size.'

You also ask, 'I hope you will send me some cock pics and please feel free to tell me more about what
turns you on sexually and what you would like to do to me, or me to you in private if I was your real time boyfriend.'

At work, I am too busy to draft a very comprehensive response, but with more time to ponder, my response to these comments would most likely be along the lines of, 'You responded to my posting, so you have a sense of what I seek. You've seen pictures of me, so you know how it is I look. We've exchanged emails, so you have a sense of how I think . Now, you seek intimate pictures of me and want to know what I want to do with you in private. I am the one with his cards on the table. I seem to be doing all of the 'revealing' here. You've yet to even show me what you look like. It doesn't seem unreasonable that I see with whom it is I am communicating, especially if I am going to be sharing my most intimate desires and pictures of genitalia."

So, where does that leave us? I don't know. As I read your note, there are certainly areas in which we have complimentary interests. I am, therefore, intrigued. That said, this game of 'show me yours, but I won't show you mine' doesn't strike me as the most positive way to begin a dialog. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Date: Monday, December 8, 2014, 5:33 PM
Subject: Re: Me = Daddy. You = boy. We = Couple. - m4m - 52 (Seattle)
To:TD

Why do I feel like I'm pulling teeth here TD? Your choice to post face pics was your choice, not mine. I would rather you had just posted body and cock pictures!

I never send out face pics online until I feel a real connection.Remember, this is also XXXXX, not Gay.com or Match.com. In closing, the picture I sent you along my hyper detailed stats and revealing bio is far and above the call of duty at this juncture more than sufficient evidence of my intention wouldn't you agree?

Most top men I know are more than willing to show what they got downstairs if they got something worth showing. The fact that you still now are unwilling to tell me your full cock size is not inspiring.

After all this time, I still do not know your weight or your cock size.  Why is it hard for you to understand what a bottom needs to know?

I can't get to second base without first knowing whats on first base!

You don't seem to me to be very intuitive Don, either that or maybe your too ashamed? I don't have time to figure it out, nor am I at this time inclined to spend anymore of my energy trying to inspire you...

Best,

M***

__________________________________________________________________________   
Now, I ask you. How in the hell do you respond to craziness like this?  And, what is even crazier, why do I feel compelled to do so?  This type of interaction has been my experience these last few years, since Sam and I broke up so that he could move back east for graduate school. Why do all the crazies gravitate towards me?

To be honest, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I actually think this crank responded to a profile or posting once before, only that time his name was, "A******.  To give him credit, if this is the same guy (the work description, age, basic physical description all match), at least that time he was willing to provide visual evidence of his appearance. Okay, I was weak, a bit lonely, and he seemed nice.  So, we arranged a date.  Alas, as has been the case with every dating experience I've had since Sam and I split, the date was a disaster from the get-go.  I got lost and was late.  His pictures were years out of date.  Our conversation was stilted and we had little or nothing in common.  It was the kind of date that makes you not want to go on dates any more.  

It wasn't quite as bad as the time I went on a date with a guy in his early twenties and half way through the meal, I noticed he didn't have any teeth.  When I asked about it, he said he'd been having public sex in a park and had gotten ambushed by some homophobes, who beat all of his teeth out.  Then he proceeded to tell me how involved he was with some very 'important' local celebrities, to whom he provided services (toothless, services) and how much they enjoyed being gummed.  The date with M*** or A****** (or whatever the hell is his real name, wasn't quite that bad, but it was pretty close.  

Anyway, back to the email exchange.  I am still at a loss to articulate how Kafka-esque has this exchange been.  

First, if it is the same guy, doesn't it seem weird that he didn't recognize me from the time we met?  Aside from having a short haircut now, I look exactly the same as I did then.  Okay, I admit, I also sport facial hair now (a chin strap), but it isn't like I've had plastic surgery or anything.  

Second, am I crazy, or do his responses appear the complete opposite of someone who claims to want to be 'submissive.' To me it sounds like he is a bossy bottom, who is only focused on his own needs.  Not very 'boyish,' now is it?

Third, no matter the venue, it is only common courtesy to share pictures with someone when responding to a personals advertisement. And, the one picture he did send, was off a tawny-skinned younger guy's ass, with the legs of a pale-skinned guys legs wrapped around it.  Clearly the picture was a screen shot from some porn movie.

Fourth, for someone who tries to make himself sound as if he isn't superficial, isn't it odd that his whole focus is on the size of my cock? I mean, I agree, if you are a total bottom, you want a guy with a decent cock that works.  But, riding the guy's cock only takes up so much time during the day.

Fifth, I may be embarrassed about many things.  My d**k isn't one of them.  It may not work quite as well as it did back in the day, but it still gets the job done.  Heck, I just used it last night to deflower a young (mid-twenties), military member, who wanted to have his first man-to-man experience before deploying.  Nice boy, beautiful body, sweet nature, built like a Viking...yowzers.  Anyway, I am only vain about 3 things:  I have beautiful, hazel eyes.  I still have good hair (for an old dude), which looks great with all the gray in it.  My d**k is pretty amazing.  Thick, uncut, curved for maximum prostate massage for the bottom, I've never had any complaints.  

You know, my friends, my fuckbuddies, my therapist, all keep telling me what a great guy am I and how I just need to put myself out there.  I think I do a pretty good of doing that...I am active on websites and apps which cater to dating and/or hooking up.  I post personal ads.  Heck, I even write this blog, telling the world that I am single and lonely and that I worry I may never have another relationship.  I've gotta tell ya, this experience is par for the course.  I've literally been on only a handful of dates since Sam left 3 years ago.  I've only had one overnight guest.  Okay, I have fuckbuddies, so it isn't like I have blueballs, but still.  It is hard not to think the problem must lie with me, when I see other guys, even other old, fat, hairy dudes finding love.  I used to tell Sam that when our relationship ended, I expected the romantic part of my life to end.  It sure looks like I was right.

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.